New Grad Cover Letter. Good or Bad?

[_ember2nursing_]

Hello everyone!

New grad RN here still trying to perfect my resume and cover letter. I acknowledge that this is on the longer side and I really need some help on what to add/cut. All critiques are welcome! If anyone is interested in quickly reviewing a resume, please feel free to message me.

Thank you.

Dear Hiring Manager,

I am honored to be writing to the wonderful staff at XXXX for the Registered Nurse position. A Registered Nurse advocates for the well-being of all patients by providing tremendous patient-centered care. Excellent critical thinking skills, the ability to thrive on an interdisciplinary team, and exceptional communication skills with people from diverse backgrounds are important traits for an RN to embody. This opportunity called out to me because the position, as described, is a perfect match with my skills. Here is a snapshot of what I have to offer:

• Baccalaureate-prepared applicant able to sustain the mission of XXXX Hospital by giving patients an unrivaled healthcare experience and living by XXXX values
• Former Newborn Hearing Screener who displayed professionalism by performing screens, according to XXXX protocol, with no direct supervision
• Over 740 hours of clinical experience completed and over two years of experience volunteering in healthcare settings, including XXXXX Children's Hospital

To begin, helping patients reach their potential is a passion of mine. I was born 8 weeks premature. The amazing nurses and neonatologists in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit helped me thrive in the face of adversity. Growing up, I wanted to touch people’s lives in the same way.

Throughout my time at XXXX, my clinical experience provided a stable basis for amazing patient interaction and competent nursing care. My involvement as a volunteer at XXXXl Children’s Hospital and my other volunteer opportunities, such as fundraising for Neonatal Intensive Care Units in XXXX, make me a great addition to your team. They show my giving personality and devotion towards children growing to reach their potential.

Furthermore, as a Newborn Hearing Screener, I was awarded the opportunity to strengthen my communication skills, develop Cerner experience, improve interdisciplinary interaction, and display professionalism in the healthcare environment. As an independent screener, confidence, compassion, and reliability are vital traits we possess to aid in providing the best service to families and their newborns. My priority for this job at XXXX is to guarantee that these acquired skills from my previous experiences are applied to the care of each patient and their family.

My enclosed resume outlines further details of my accomplishments. Please contact me if you would like to schedule an interview or have any questions about my skills or experiences. I look forward to an in-person meeting to discuss further how I can make a positive contribution to the XXXX community. I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to work with and learn from you and your talented team.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Way too long and way too "flowery." Should be 2-3 paragraphs in lengths, fitting easily on 1 side of 1 piece of paper. Should be crisp and efficient with words -- professional in tone and not full of "gushy" phrases such as "honored to be writing to the wonderful staff" and "amazing patient interaction."

Pare it down and tone it down a couple of notches ... and then post the revised version.

[_ember2nursing_]

10 minutes ago, llg said:

Should be crisp and efficient with words

Thank you for your reply. This is the part that I'm mostly confused about. I had another cover letter that stated skills, didn't restate my resume etc. but others were saying that it wasn't personal enough. Are the points were I go into detail about my experiences sufficient, or should I cut them out and go more towards skills?

[llg, PhD, RN]

Thank you for being open to honest critique. Some people come here and ask for advice -- and then refuse to accept any suggestions for improvement.

You are right not to restate your resume ... and that the cover letter is a good place to get a bit personal. But "personal" is not the same as "flowery and gushy." For example, you could something along the lines of:

"I am writing to inquire about the xxxxx job that was posted on your website. This position interests me because it xxxxxxxxx.

My background in xxxxx and xxxxx support my application for the xxxx job. Through those experiences, I learned xxxx that should be useful as I start my career in xxxxx nursing. ..... etc."

Note that my writing above was personal without being gushy and over-the-top. That's the tone you should seek.

[_ember2nursing_]

Here is the updated version

Dear XXXX’s Hiring Team,

To begin, helping patients reach their potential is a passion of mine. I was born 8 weeks premature and given a grim prognosis. Fortunately, the amazing nurses and neonatologists in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit helped me thrive in the face of adversity. Growing up, I wanted to touch people’s lives in the same way.

As a recent graduate from the XXXX with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, this position with XXXX Hospital piqued my interest. After reviewing the position requirements, I am confident that my qualifications and personal strengths align with your needs and goals. Here is a snapshot of what I have to offer:

• Compassionate Pediatric Private Duty Nurse and former Newborn Hearing Screener with experience in ventilator, tracheostomy, CPAP, and g-tube care in pediatric patients.
• Extroverted and personable communicator that excels at communicating both clearly and professionally with co-workers, management, and patients.
• Thrives in high-stress environments by utilizing critical thinking skills to find solutions and achieve results.
• Focused and diligent when managing workloads and accurately prioritizes tasks to meet deadlines.
• Knowledgeable about cultural competency as displayed through multiple study abroad trips.

My academic, extracurricular, and previous work experiences have honed my abilities in evidence-based practice and holistic patient-centered care. They contributed to the development of my patient assessment, medication administration, and teamwork skills. These traits will provide a solid foundation for the Registered Nurse position at XXXX.

I am determined to be a valuable contributor to your organization’s mission of giving patients an unrivaled healthcare experience. Please take a moment to review my enclosed resume. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to speaking with you in person.

Sincerely,

_Ember2nursing_, BSN, RN

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Three paragraphs.

The first mentions the opening, where you saw it, a BRIEF summary of your understanding of what they are looking for and that you feel you can meet those needs. Three to five sentences.

The second outlines what skills you have that meet the needs they are reflecting in the ad. Do your best without copying exactly to utilize much of the same key words and phrases. This should be no more than five sentences.

The third expresses enthusiasm for the position and a desire to interview for it, then invites them to contact you at the number you provide. Three sentences.

Sign it Sincerely or Cordially,

Your name

Anything more than that it will go in the trash. All the attempts to outline everything about yourself is just too much. You have to be far more concise than either of your examples above. If you need bullet points you are being too detailed.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Dear Hiring Manager:

I recently noted your ad on LinkedIn for a new graduate residency in your Med-surg department. Your ad outlined your desire for a personable professional newly graduated from an accredited institution with a BSN degree. You also stated you hope to find an individual with BLS, ACLS capable of building solid relationships with patients and ready to dive into learning all that med-surg has to offer. I believe I meet your needs for this role.

I graduated with my BSN from Stellar University in September of 2019. My clinical rotations exposed me to all major body systems and common diagnoses, including CHF, Diabetes and heart disease. Our program placed particularly emphasis on the importance of patient autonomy, privacy laws and attention to good stewardship with hospital resources. I enjoyed the relationships I built with patients and the nurses during all of my rotations, particularly those I got to know at your institution on the 7th floor.

I was excited by the opening you have described and I would love the opportunity to discuss my qualifications with you further. My schedule is fairly flexible and I would be happy to get together at your convenience. Please contact me any time on my cell at [phone] or through my personal email at [email protected]. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Jennifer Smith, BSN, RN

[_ember2nursing_]

Thank you @Nurse SMS for the great example! I'll work on cutting it down again and will post the results.