Need Help with Goal Statement

Nursing Students NP Students

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Hey everyone,

I am sitting here trying to get my goal statement for my application together and I could use a little help. I was watching Fringe (I'm a nerd) while I wrote it out, and I think I made it too long with too much backstory. It's like 3 pages double-spaced. What do you guys think? Any constructive criticism would be very helpful.

Nurse Midwife/Family Nurse Practitioner Goal Statement

In order to be able to understand the depth of my passion for nursing, you need to know a bit of backstory. As a young child, I was always very driven to perform well academically and to develop my critical thinking skills. Being able to debate my way out of any situation at the age of 6 (an ability that my parents viewed as both a blessing and a curse,) it was expected that I would end up a lawyer. I had great aspirations of attending Harvard Law and spending my life wearing blazers and button-up shirts while arguing to my heart's content. However, everything changed Christmas 1999. A large, oddly-shaped package stood in the corner with my name on it. "To Rachel, From a Friend" was written on it. When it was finally time to open the gifts, I found myself drawn to this particular one first. Inside was a toy crash cart, equipped with plastic syringes, a functional stethoscope, bandages, and plastic medicine bottles. I asked who had gotten me this seemingly random present, yet no one took responsibility for it. I took out all of the components of the play set and started to experiment with them. Like a switch flipping, my imaginary games changed from determining the guilt or innocence of my teddy bears, to diagnosing them with chicken pox and bandaging up their wounds. I checked out medical book after medical book from the library, and received several strange looks when I walked out with Gray's Anatomy under my arm. I knew for a fact that I wanted to be a doctor and that there was no other career path for me.

The decision to pursue nursing instead came about when my grandfather was in the ICU with congestive heart failure and chronic renal failure, both complications from diabetes. He was dying, and our greatest wish was that he would go as comfortably and peacefully as possible. Still being very interested in medicine as a future career, I watched the various healthcare professionals in their roles, especially the nurses. While the doctors would come in and out maybe once or twice during the day, the nurses were constantly coming in and out, checking on him, checking on us, and generally treating us as individuals with feelings and needs - not just "the patient" and "the patient's family." It was not until I was older that I learned the term for this is "holistic care." Nursing is focused on treating not only the body and its disease processes, but also treating the mind and spirit. When my grandfather passed, the nurses who cared for him were there holding his hand with us, crying with us, just being present as he slipped away. That settled it. I was going to care for people the way we were cared for. I was still highly interested in diagnosis and developing treatment plans, which made it difficult to choose between nursing and medical school. My mother, however, was able to put my struggle to rest when she told me about the option to be something called a "Nurse Practitioner." Nurse practitioners are nurses who work with physicians and are able to diagnose and treat illnesses as well as prescribe medications. Family Nurse Practitioner was my new career path, as it would allow me to work with people from every age-group - from birth to grave.

As I worked my way through high school, the idea began to emerge of specializing in women's health once I graduated from nursing school. I had been surrounded by pregnant women in my family and church groups my whole life, and many of them had nurse midwives that cared for them instead of OB/GYNs. My own mother had a midwife when delivering myself and my sister at our home in (blank), along with some of my dearest friends. I began researching how births are done in this country versus other countries and came to the realization that there is a severe lack of education on the part of our women. Our country's cesarean section rate is astronomical comparatively, as is our maternal/newborn death rate - despite being a highly developed country. I also attended many births throughout high school and college; some were "traditional" hospital births with epidurals, some were completely natural with no interventions, and some ended in c-section. I coached my best friend and my sister through both of their labors, and helped bring my nieces and nephews safely into this world. It became my strongest passion to one day be able to provide education on women's health, their pregnancies and birth to under-privileged women who might not have had the opportunity to learn about their options. Without the proper education, it is impossible for women to be able to make informed decisions about their bodies. As a woman, I want my birth experiences to be empowering, not traumatizing. As a nurse midwife, you have the opportunity to let mothers take power over their own destinies and those of their unborn children.

After receiving my CNM/FNP, I plan on working in rural areas that may be under-served when it comes to women's health, prenatal care, and childbirth education. I also will help these women to bring their children into this world safe, happy and healthy while assisting the mother achieve the birth experience that she wants and needs. As an FNP, I will also be able to care for these women and their children long after the birth. I also intend to devote time volunteering in clinics in rural areas that are under-served, bringing much needed healthcare to the population.

My life and school experiences have shaped me into the person I am today, and I am very grateful for everyone in my life that has helped me fulfill each dream I have set out to achieve. My excellent instructors, friends, coworker and even patients have given me the tools to be a successful nurse and it is my greatest desire to use those tools to serve others. Working on a busy Medical/Surgical unit has provided me with much experience with various disease processes, patient types and ages, as well as learning to work in a high-stress environment. I possess excellent communication skills, both written and verbal, and am a wonderful listener. I am also highly motivated and have no expectations of anything being given to me. I have had to earn everything I have ever received, and that has given me an appreciation for life and its sanctity. (insert school name) CNM/FNP dual focus program is a perfect fit for my career goals, and I believe that I would be an excellent addition to the program as well.

overall it's good, but is a little long. I would cut out the third paragraph.

I agree it seems very wordy,especially in the beginning.

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