Need Advice- stressing!

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Specializes in Telemetry.

Hi all,

I need some advice and apologize in advance if this is a long post.

I've wanted to be nurse since I was 19. I started nursing school 7 years ago and didn't continue because I had my youngest child. I went through my divorce a little over a year later, and then because I had to support 3 kids on my own and had no family and friends here (we'd moved to Illinois to be closer to his family, and he had isolated me from my family and made it such hell on me if I made friends that I just didn't bother anymore.. yes, it was a very bad situation) but couldn't move out of state because of our joint parenting agreement, and so I thought for a long time that I may not be able to become a nurse at least until they were teenagers or maybe not ever. I still took a class here and there to finish up my prereqs, when I could, just in case.

Fast forward 5 years, and I've been with my SO for 3.5 years and between him and my family's help (they've helped financially), and some student loans, I've gone back and am graduating in May. I've wanted this so much for so long... now I'm almost there. And suddenly there is this:

I feel like I don't even want to be a nurse anymore. I mean, I love learning about all of it, and at the end of clinicals I'm in a great mood, but I always dread going. Every week I dread going to clinicals. Its gotten less and less as I've gotten more comfortable, but I still never "look forward" to going. I don't know if its because its med/surg which I really don't enjoy much or have alot of interest in (though I started off hating it in the beginning, and now I feel like I could work there- I wouldn't love it, but it would be ok) or because I still am learning and not comfortable, or if its because its just stressful being with an instructor, feeling like you are bothering the nurses and patients, or what. Maybe I'll feel better when its my job, and I"m making money and am somewhat more independent... I don't know. My SO says he thinks its completely normal and that its because I've done nothing but eat, sleep and breathe nursing for 2 years. I'm just basically feeling like "What if I've gone through all of this and then hate it?" I kind of feel like maybe its just because I'm close to the end and now its getting real and I'm just nervous about the whole thing. Is this normal? Did anyone else experience anything like this as they got near the end of school?

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Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.

It is terrifying to get towards the end of school and I think every new nurse experiences that. My friend is also graduating in May and she has expressed these same concerns you have. It's always scary to get to the end because that support system from school will be gone and then you have yourself and what you learned to rely on. :uhoh21:

Med-surg is not for everybody and their are many different areas to nursing you just have to find your fit. I hated medical floor during my clinicals also. The nurses on that floor were rude and did not want to be bothered by students so yes, I know how you feel. You should consider what area of nursing interests you and shadow a nurse for a day or two. You also should take a day or even an hour for yourself. As a student life is stressful and pack a family and money issues on top of that and you feel like you are suffocating. Give nursing a chance things are different once you are out of school. It's a field that you will not get bored with because their is always something new and interesting to learn about. Hope this helps. Good luck to you!:up:

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Specializes in med-surg.

I'm also graduating in May, but my issue isn't clinical. I have developed this "I am so done with all of this' attitude. I'm tired and I've got 'senioritis' really bad. Give it a year...you'll have graduated, gotten a license and 6 months work experience under your belt. It'll all be different (i hope!)

namaste

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Specializes in ER, Cardiac Tele/ICU Stepdown.
Hi all,

I need some advice and apologize in advance if this is a long post.

I've wanted to be nurse since I was 19. I started nursing school 7 years ago and didn't continue because I had my youngest child. I went through my divorce a little over a year later, and then because I had to support 3 kids on my own and had no family and friends here (we'd moved to Illinois to be closer to his family, and he had isolated me from my family and made it such hell on me if I made friends that I just didn't bother anymore.. yes, it was a very bad situation) but couldn't move out of state because of our joint parenting agreement, and so I thought for a long time that I may not be able to become a nurse at least until they were teenagers or maybe not ever. I still took a class here and there to finish up my prereqs, when I could, just in case.

Fast forward 5 years, and I've been with my SO for 3.5 years and between him and my family's help (they've helped financially), and some student loans, I've gone back and am graduating in May. I've wanted this so much for so long... now I'm almost there. And suddenly there is this:

I feel like I don't even want to be a nurse anymore. I mean, I love learning about all of it, and at the end of clinicals I'm in a great mood, but I always dread going. Every week I dread going to clinicals. Its gotten less and less as I've gotten more comfortable, but I still never "look forward" to going. I don't know if its because its med/surg which I really don't enjoy much or have alot of interest in (though I started off hating it in the beginning, and now I feel like I could work there- I wouldn't love it, but it would be ok) or because I still am learning and not comfortable, or if its because its just stressful being with an instructor, feeling like you are bothering the nurses and patients, or what. Maybe I'll feel better when its my job, and I"m making money and am somewhat more independent... I don't know. My SO says he thinks its completely normal and that its because I've done nothing but eat, sleep and breathe nursing for 2 years. I'm just basically feeling like "What if I've gone through all of this and then hate it?" I kind of feel like maybe its just because I'm close to the end and now its getting real and I'm just nervous about the whole thing. Is this normal? Did anyone else experience anything like this as they got near the end of school?

Hey!

I am also graduating an May and feel the same way. I sometimes feel like I've worked this hard, and now I may be stuck in a job that I won't like. It's not the nursing aspect that I've dreading, I love caring for people when they are sick, I'm scared of how it's actually going to be once I graduate. I dread having all these patients and not having enough time or experience to do my job. I dread making mistakes that could potentially be life threatening. And this last semester is so bad, they've crammed a lot of hard classes into a short amount of time for preceptorship, then theres NCLEX but the stress doesn't end there, it's probably just beginning when we're out there all alone... Hopefully everything will work out for us!

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

I graduate this June and I'm having similar feelings.

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imo, these feelings are perfectly normal, and even expected.

whether one dreads clinical, or just an overall feeling of apprehension- this is what happens when the end is near.

i've posted before, that everyone in my class was cranky and snippy w/ea other, towards the end...

our graduation day was phenomenal.

but even when studying for nclex, the irritability was apparent.

in hindsight, this is probably the toughest part of school.

anxieties, excitement and novelty (in beginning) is replaced by exhaustion, pessimism and "what the hell did i get myself into????", towards the end.

hang on sisters and brothers.

it's when you're hardest hit, that you musn't quit. :)

leslie

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

I graduated in December and I always "loved school" till about October then I couldn't wait for it to be done, I thought my lecture teacher was an idiot I despised my med/surge clinical instructor, hated the floor I was on, thought all the nurses on that floor were witches. Couldn't stand half my class mates and believe it or not---I am an all around nice person. Yet I was so filled with negativity.

Fast forward January, I passed my boards and took a job in the ICU and have been smiling ever since. Ear to ear smiling. I love being a nurse, love my job, love my patients. I am sure I drive some people crazy because I am so positive.

I really hope these feelings your having will pass, I think they will just keep your head down working. Get the grades, study for boards and move on. The great thing about nursing is the opportunity's are endless. When you see RN behind your name the feeling of accomplishment you will feel is amazing. I for one hope I never loose this "I love being a nurse" feeling. Best of luck to you, your future is exciting!!!:yeah:

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Specializes in Critical Care Baby!!!!!.

i have been a nurse for over 10 years. i went to college after i had my children, so it wasnt something i did straight out of high school. like you, my life was tumultuous before and during nursing school. by the time graduation rolled around i was so done with school and clinicals and all of it!

i think that everyone experiences this. keep in mind too, that clinicals are nothing like "nursing for real" is. what i mean is, once you are out of school and are working you will see that nursing is completely different. you will be treated differently and now you are responsible for the patient....with a preceptor of course. you will have more responsibility and no clinical instructor around to breath down your neck. that was a big relief for me.

another thing, that i wish someone would have told me is, once you have been working for a little while and you are done with orientation, you are going to have some questions about whether you made the right choice to become a nurse. you will have a "honeymoon" phase and then wham reality sets in. i love being a nurse! i love my choice, but there are some days that i question my decision still. it's part of being a nurse.

i wish you the best of luck! you will make a fantastic nurse. my best piece of advice to you is find a mentor, someone you click with, and let them be your sounding board. you are well on your way! congrats!!!!

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Specializes in Med Surg, Hospice.

Yikes... I feel like this and I have another year to go.... I'm loving the rotation that ends tomorrow, but I am so NOT looking forward to Med Surg (probably because I work on a Med Surg floor and it's going to be more like work than clinicals). I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the next year.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Oh, yeah, they are normal. It is a long and taxing experience to be so dependent on people for an extended amount of time...the professors, nurses the clinical site and all of the other wonderful energies you have to encounter. And, plus, you are close to the end of the road. Most times, the last semester in nursing school is THE MOST insane. Suddenly, extra monies are due for graduation fees, the assignments are more intense, the students (including yourself) are now, tired, irritable and afraid. Most schools have an exit test that frightens the daylights out of people and then, it is preparing for the dreaded NCLEX...by then, there will be no one with you, really, to ask questions that knows more than you. The 'live' resources such as professors will no longer be there to hold your hand (or stab you in the back-take your pick depending on who you had). You have to pass the exam to search for a job...all of the feelings that come with this are intense!

You WILL MAKE IT, and you will see what nursing means to you when you start working.

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Specializes in Telemetry.

Thanks for all the replies.

This may seem insignificant, but I just read a thread here that was particularly moving and made me remember, "oh yeah, this is why I want to be a nurse" and I am feeling better. I think like you all said, its just that the end is near and the last semester is particularly crazy, and I'm really, really sick of school- you all know how it is- nursing school is 24/7. You never get away from it. I'm looking forward to working for many reasons, right now at the top of my list is so that work can be work and home can be home again.

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Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.

Hi

Ditto to what everyone else has all ready said!!

As you can see. I have been a nurse for more then 40 yrs. I have had VERY little "down" time!!! A couple surgical procedures & my vacations, but other than that it has been all work. (I have no kids).

Guess what?????????? I never even WANTED to be a nurse!!! I just did it because I needed to make a decision & do something!!

Yet, it has been the MOST rewarding Career for me!!! I LOVE Nursing & will hate to give it up & eventually retire!!! Even tho I grumble & complain--I LOVE every minute of patient care!!

When I neared graduation, I was so nervous--how would I manage with this career I wasn't even fond of!!!!! I'm so HAPPY that this is the path I chose!!

I really do wish you luck!! I'm pretty sure it will all work out for you.

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