More Nursing Humor

[P-RN]

It all began with a nurse in the open heart recovery at the hospital where I worked. She thought that a new resident was dreamy and wanted me to introduce her to him. When she said that she would love to get him in front of her fireplace with a bottle of wine, I jokingly replied that I would be willing to come over and after two bottles of wine I would begin to look as good as the resident. I got some laughs from the other nurses and thought no more about it. Then about two weeks later I entered the patient elevators with two of the nurses who had been present when I made my joke. One of them grabbed my tie and yanked it, tightening it uncomfortably, forcing me to remove it so that I could retie it. As I removed the tie, the nurse who had yanked it said, " We don't need any wine, you look just fine," and then both nurses grabbed my shirt, popping buttons and pulling it open exposing my chest and belly. As luck would have it, the elevator doors opened at that moment and a group of seven or eight visitors looked in to see us in what looked like a very compromising position. The two nurses promptly dropped their hands from either side of my shirt and looked very guilty indeed. The visitors were so surprised that none of them entered the elevator, but stood and stared as the doors closed. I'm sure they heard us laughing hysterically after the doors closed, and I have always imagined these people going home to tell friends and family that all the sex on those medical shows is for real. I didn't really find heaven on the seventh floor, but it sure appeared that way.

On another day I was joined in the cafeteria by a student nurse who was not eating and when I asked her why she wasn't she proceeded to tell me that she had given her first bed bath that day and no longer had any appetite. She explained that when she got to the end of the bath and was cleaning the elderly gentleman's rear end she managed to get a piece of stool on her finger. She was quite grossed out and couldn't wait to remove her gloves when suddenly she sneezed and unfortunately as an automatic reaction put her hand to her nose. Of course some of the stool went into her nostrils and she could not get rid of the smell. I tried hard to be sympathetic, but it was impossible not to laugh at her experience.

Another event that always amused me was when a nurse I was working with was checking an elderly woman's orientation to place and time and asked her if she knew where she was. The 92 year old woman looked at her nurse like she must be an idiot and replied, "Of course I know where I am. I'm right here". We couldn't fault her reasoning, but it was very hard not to burst out laughing in front of the woman.

These are but a few of many amusing events that have added a little levity to my otherwise often stressful job and now I'm requesting that some of you out there bare your souls, (or chests) and tell us about some of your amusing and/or embarassing moments at work.

[AJJKRN]

I was once doing my normal orientation questions on a fresh post-OP major bowel patient that was in her 40's so really young. She answered everything appropriately, who she was, where she was, what was the next major holiday, etc. When I asked her to tell me why she was in the hospital, expecting her to say she had bowel surgery, she honestly said "cause my minds not right"...damn...