Month 5

I have almost made it to my 5th month of being a nurse. It has not been easy. I've been overwhelmed, cried at work and at home, been depressed, felt like I know nothing, and wanted to quit. I've also had some really good moments, and I have REALLY supportive co-workers. I've had pts thank me for taking good care of them. I've had CNAs say they like working with me (which is a huge compliment from some)!

The problem is that I am so nervous every single day that I will make a mistake because I am so busy. I don't want to harm anyone, so I ask questions or ask for help if I'm even the slightest bit unsure. I have no problem asking questions! I try to be as thorough as possible and clarify anything I don't understand. I am just so afraid that something will go wrong, and I will hurt someone or get sued and lose my license. Everyone says "you will make mistakes, and it's ok" and "everyone misses something once in awhile" and "you need to stop being a perfectionist". But if I listen to that advice, I feel like I will stop being so careful.

I can't help but feel that I can't wait until I don't work in a hospital anymore. I want to work somewhere that I can do some good and help people but not have to worry about doing any harm/getting sued. Does this place exist?! Maybe community health.....but not many jobs in that arena these days.