Misery loves Company

Cajundago · Jan 24, 2006

Hello,
I'm a recently graduated RN from May and have been working at a level 3 NICU since July. Recently, I have been feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated. I love my job and my patients, but sometimes it truly gets to feel "out of control". I also am having a hard time deciphering when to call the md or NNP and when not too. I feel like when I do call about something, Im bothering them and when I don't call about something Im getting yelled at the next day. Also, it's really hard being the new kid in the unit and not to mention Im the youngest RN on the unit. I feel like Im not getting the same respect Im giving others and thats also frustrating. I know Im still new and do not have the level of experince as all of the others, but making me feel like Im less then everyone else really doesn't help. Any stories or suggestions?

Dear Sunny17,

I had similar problems as you when I graduated. I'm now going on 14 years! Anyway, you need to learn or take some assertiveness training. I said ASSERTIVE not AGGRESSIVE. Those are 2 totally different things. There are books on assertiveness training or a good therapist can help you. The main thing to remember is that YOU ARE WORTHY OF RESPECT. Not because you're a nurse but a HUMAN BEING. You know that or you wouldn't feel this way. One thing I can tell you works is when someone starts yelling at you tell them in a very calm tone (it can't be quiet because you'll have to probably scream over them or do the polite thing and wait until they're done.) Use "I" statements. "I don't allow anyone to speak to me that way and I won't allow you. When you are better able to discuss this in a professional manner I'll be happy to speak with you." Then walk away. You'll have to practice this in front of a mirror and you'll probably be shaking when you finish but you stop them dead in their tracks. Another thing that worked for me was asking them if you can speak to them privately in the hallway. Then start with "I didn't appreciate.... "I don't like it when you... I want to thank you for ... "when you_________ I feel _____. It's taken me a long time to learn this. Remember , too, if you have a job where some one is yelling at you maybe you need to find another job. Also speak to your nurse manager about this many times they are unaware this is occurring and he/she can put a stop to it. Don't sell yourself short for being the youngest RN you are like a sponge and can absorb so much more!!! When I first graduated I wondered why I even bothered to go to Nursing school because I didn't know anything! You can do this and you will win the war of the words by being PROFESSIONAL. Always remember the person in charge is the one that's NOT yelling! :yeah:

Love ya! Cajundago

sunny17 · Jan 24, 2006

Thank you! I really needed some encourgament! I am working on being more assertive and sticking up for myself...but it's hard! The first year of nursing I heard is very rough, but I guess you just have to stick it through!! Thanks again!

Cajundago · Jan 25, 2006

You can do it! You made it through Nursing school! This part is a breeze!:flowersfo Cajundago

NicuNightRN · Jan 25, 2006

Hello,
I'm a recently graduated RN from May and have been working at a level 3 NICU since July. Recently, I have been feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated. I love my job and my patients, but sometimes it truly gets to feel "out of control". I also am having a hard time deciphering when to call the md or NNP and when not too. I feel like when I do call about something, Im bothering them and when I don't call about something Im getting yelled at the next day. Also, it's really hard being the new kid in the unit and not to mention Im the youngest RN on the unit. I feel like Im not getting the same respect Im giving others and thats also frustrating. I know Im still new and do not have the level of experince as all of the others, but making me feel like Im less then everyone else really doesn't help. Any stories or suggestions?

Sunny 17,

This sounds very familiar!! I also graduated in May, and have been in a level 3 NICU since June. I oriented to Level 2 and worked just with Level 2 babies until recently...the oriented to Level 3 in December and have been taking those patients since. I am also the youngest person on the unit - RN or clinical assistant. We have 2 other new grads who started working when I did, so it is nice to know that I am not the only one. Last night, however, I was the only new grad on. I had the smallest, sickest baby I've had yet on my own, and was terrified. How would I know when to call the NNP? I have been chewed out for not calling, and called for things that I thought were significant but were ignored (such as a sky high WBC count!). Luckily last night the NNP came around to check 2200 and 0400 labs, and I didn't even have to worry about whether to call her...and my abnormal labs were abnormal enough that I knew I had to notify her.

It is scary being a new nurse out there, especially for us really young ones. I understand what you mean about not getting the same respect you give, and I do occasionally feel that way myself. For the most part though, my coworkers have been fabulous. They know that I am new, and I do not hesitate to ask most of them questions...even if I think I know the answer and just want to be sure. Just know that you are not alone out there...and I hope your coworkers remember that they were new nurses once! If you ever want to share stories, complain, commiserate, etc., let me know! :)

prmenrs, RN · Jan 25, 2006

If you had a preceptor in orientation, can you utilized that resource?

IMO, they're either not used to helping new grads along, or just playing Darwin (survival of the fittest). Either way, you're kinda getting a bum deal. You might have to sit down w/the Unit Manager and find out what s/he expects from you @ this stage of the game. There's no reason for you to go to work and feel totally unsupported. See if you can @ least identify someone who can be a "mentor" for you.