Medication humor

Before I started taking my prerecs for nursing I did medical transcription. The following mistake was made by a fellow MT: The doc was dictating on a patient with sexual dysfunction and recommended Cialis. The MT typed "see Alice" and commented on our company message board that she thought Alice must be one heck of a sex therapist! :chuckle

While I'm on the subject of transcription, one doc I used to type for always said..."no loss of bowel or bladder dysfunction."

~T

Blessings are like hugs from God...counting your blessings is like hugging God back!

Haaaa thats to funny :roll

Had a female patient a few years ago that needed a lower GI. We gave her an Rx for a Fleet's prep kit. You know, the one with Phospha Soda, Dulcolax tabs and a Fleet's enema. I explained to her how to use it and she said she understood.

The morning she was supposed to have the procedure she called me and said she just couldn't do this, she just couldn't. Knowing this is the day for the Fleet's enema I'm thinking to myself... the lady has been pooping all night long, I know her butt is red and sore, now she's afraid of a silly Fleets?

She said she just couldn't finish the prep. Knowing what was coming next I asked why, what was the problem? She said she just couldn't take this, she couldn't. It was too hard, she couldn't bring herself to complete the kit.

Being sweet and caring I ask why, what is the problem? How is this hard? I was thinking her butt was too sore to cram the nozzle up there or something.

She said it tasted bad. I realize she did it the wrong way, she did the enema the day before and she is drinking the Phospha Soda today, the day of the test. But nooooo, I was wrong. It started to dawn on me when she explained the thick gooey stuff on the mouthpiece of the enema just tastes really bad.

Mouthpiece? Enema? Oh Lord! That would be K-Y!!

Now com'on you guys, since when does the medical profession give an adult person a baby bottle of salty stuff to drink with a 6" hard nipple coated with K-Y???

She was actually amazed at where it was supposed to go. (slowly shaking head)

Oh, so THAT'S why the Phenergan suppositories all say "REMOVE WRAPPING BEFORE INSERTION"........... :chuckle

DARN is that isn't the truth! You know, you can get the CEO of some mega huge company, a person responsible for millions of dollars daily, someone responsible for the jobs of hundreds of people and THAT is the person that will whine and cry because when they rammed that suppository up their rear end it hurt. Then you have to sit there without rolling your eyes and ask if he removed the foil wrapper first!

Am I the only one with a patient that didn't want a new Rx for AVC supps because they don't work and they taste too bad?

Gahhh...

Okay, I'm on a roll and this is because there are so many med errors.

Ever get the little old lady that when you ask her what meds she takes she hands you a paper bag full of drugs?

What about the little old one that only has 3 bottles of pills but per her H&P she takes 16 different drugs?

Yes, she only takes three. The white ones, the blue ones, and the pink ones. They are all different sizes and shapes of whites ones but they are WHITE so they are the same drug, right???? It saves time to combine them by color. It doesn't tip anyone off that they are different shapes and sizes, they are the same "color" thus they are the same drug!

And what about the little old man that takes Procardia. You know, the tablets with the little laser hole in them? Yeah, they are too expensive so he cuts them in half. AAAAAHHHHHH You can't DO that I say! Oh, sure I can... I use a knife and it's easy. Gee Mr. Jones, why IS your BP so low?

I once had a little old lady that would use soapy dishwater to water down her Trusopt and Timolol because it was too expensive to buy them 'as is'. The soapy dishwater kept 'stuff clean'.

Does anyone other than me find it amazing that our patients actually live through these issues?

One more and I'll leave this topic alone.

Had a 17 y/o female with a clotting disorder. She was taking 120mg of Lovenox q12h. Suddenly she lost the baby. I didn't get it, she was on the premo drug! Lovenox! How could she have clots?

Easy. Her sharps container was full so she stopped the injections.

Called the MD office because my patient had orders for Lovenox x3 days, period. However w/Coumadin his INR was 1.1. I called the MD office asking for orders to continue the Lovenox. The MA said the doc would decide tomorrow if the Lovenox would be continued. I attempted to explain that the orders state Lovenox q12h, what about tonights dose?? His last dose was 9AM. If the doc would decide tomorrow about continuing lovenox what about tonight's dose? The MA happily explained that it wasn't due tonight, it was due q12h. The doc would decide tomorrow if Lovenox would be continued.

I explained that q12h meant his next dose was due at 9PM TONIGHT. Yes, the MA explained, the MD would decide tomorrow if the Lovenox would be continued tonight.

Calgon, TAKE ME AWAY!