MAT. TPAPN. BON

[Tryingtogo28]

This is gonna be long. But I'd love some advice from other nurses or soon to be nurses. What would your approach to this be or what advice would you give. Please no judging. I am not asking for medical advice or any judgment about TPAPN or anything like that. Just strictly the situation and if all of it is worth it. 

 

Back story. I'm 30, I'm a CNA & CMA. I work mostly as a CNA right now making 18-20$ an hour at one place. While waiting for a full time med aide position to open for me making 22$ an hour at another place. I love being a med aide. I live in a small town with only a few job possibilities for nursing. Everything else is about 45 minutes away and im tired of driving that far for work So I wanna stay working in my home town.

I am a felon with a history of drug abuse... my felony and drug abuse does not bar me from being eligible to be a nurse. I filed a declaratory order the the TBON and was approved with stipulations...

I've been accepted into LVN school with the stipulation from the TBON that I take a remedial drug class and do TPAPN as soon as I graduate. 

 

I'm really struggling if getting my LVN is worth the TPAPN struggles I'll have to go thru. 

 

We have 40k saved up that if I did LVN I would need to use for bills and tuition so we would lose that. I would have to stop working to drive over an hour to and from school 4 days a week for a year. And some times 5 days. So my weeks will be full of work when I can and school and studying. 

 

What's bad about that is I have 5 kids. My oldest is pregnant and is due in October. She's gonna need me so much but I know ima be having to focus on school. She's 18.. also I get really bad migraines when I'm over worked ans stressed. Like to the point I'm in the ER so that scares me. 

 

If I do make it thru LVN school. I have to do TPAPN. If it was just TPAPN I think I'd be OK with it. But reading their handbook I found some confusing info.. so the BON knows I am on a certain medication that I've taken for over 5 years and need it every day to function like a normal person. 

Well reading the TPAPN handbook, it says this certain medication is not allowed. One part says u must be clean from it for 6-8 weeks before returning to work...

And another section, contradicting that, explains the steps in which a nurse on this medication can go thru to get an evaluation BY one of THEIR tpapn approved physcologists and IF approved for the medication, then you have to have very expensive tests done to verify you're not cognitively impaired by these meds. And if the Dr deems you impaired. You must drop out of the program. Or come off the medication. 

But if approved to be fit, you are able to work and be on the medication until THEIR Dr tells you otherwise. Which I think is crazy they don't let me keep my personal Dr that I've had for 5 years that knows me.. also, coming off this medicine for me would put me at risk for so many Un needed things. 

To the point where I would need other types of meds to cope and there fore most likely be kicked out the program for that. It seems crazy they can do this. Other than the medication thing. They make u do 24-54 drug tests per year. It is a 1-3 year ordeal. Mine would probably be the full 3 years. I live over an hour away from the closest diagnostics center where they accept their in person UAs at. The way it works is u wake up everyday and check in on an app. If your app tells u your picked to do a random drug test. U have to no matter what. Even if your scheduled for work. Drive to the center and test. 

1. IDK any job that would be OK with that. 

2. This happens 2-6 times a month 

3. The money I would spend in gas would be crazy doing this. 

 

Also, they require u do meetings, psych evals, they make your employer do monthly reports. You cannot work overtime. U cannot have access to narcotics, pass narcotics, float to another unit, be on call, work more than one job, work PRN, be charge nurse, among other things... IDK ANY job that would be OK with that. 

 

I just don't know if I am comfortable with even trying to do all that. And I don't know if my physical and mental health is worth allllll this. There is so much more that is weighing on this. But I just don't wanna make the wrong choice. I've wanted to be an LVN for a long time. So many of my friends and family have been rooting for me and have helped me a long the way even get approved to get into nursing school has been a shock and a blessing because I am a felon with a history of addiction. Which the BON knows and still approved me. So IDK. I've already accepted a place in an lvn program. But I'm thinking about pulling out before orientation because I feel like it is just too much for me to go thru for a license that I may not even get to keep. 

 

I am a CMA have been for 3 years. Never had an issue with drug diversion, never had meds missing. Never had any discrepancy. All my nurses I work under push me to go get my LVN because they love my work ethic and know I want to be a nurse. They know my past is my past and know I'm not that person anymore. But IDK yall. 

 

Is using up 40k of savings 

Going into 20k of student loan debt 

The wear and tear on my car 

Gas money 

Time away from my first grand child and my kids and husband 

Mental and physical health 

Is that all worth an LVN license that the state could take away? 

 

Please tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to wall away from my dream because of this.

[TIMFY]

https://www.texasnurses.org/news/474908/Practice-Tip-of-the-Week-Medication-Assisted-Treatment-The-Gold-Standard-.htm

Here is an article about TPAPN's views on MAT. The lead case manager is quoted saying, "We are not in the business of telling nurses what to take and what not to take; we leave that up to medically licensed and qualified physicians" and in my experience, he means it. 

There is an option on the Affinity portal to "suggest a testing center" or something, so maybe you can get one approved closer to where you live! You can actually go anywhere but you'd have to pay a fee for using an outside center-if you get it approved then you wouldn't.