You will NEVER believe this guys...discrimination???

[rbs105, ADN, MSN, RN]

Hi-

I have to get some guy opinions. This guy I know is in his first semester of nursing school. He is in an accelerated BSN program. He is with 6 other women. He expressed his dissatisfaction about the show Nurse Jackie and the stereotype that the male nurse is gay and he is tired of the stereotype of male nurses. Next thing he knew, he was being called in by the safety officer because the instructor was "worried" about him and that he was being "disruptive". REALLY??

So now he had to meet with the safety officer because he may "become" a problem. He pointed out that he was discussing a current event and a show on TV. The officer said that they are worried because they feel this was an expression of his stress and don't want him to "become a problem". Even the girls who are with him in class didn't feel it was a big deal-just a conversation. How is he to safely open his mouth? How does he deal with this instructor now? Does he make a bigger deal out of it? If he discussed Dr. Kevorkian, does that mean they will think he is going to kill his patients?? He puts up w/sexual comments from women, their profanity, etc etc and doesn't say a thing. Now someone is complaining about him due to this??? He brought THAT up to the safety officer and he just laughed and said, women have issues and hold onto alot. WHAT?! So that is okay??? NOW he is really stressed out. He was also very upset because he had to go to this stupid meeting right before his exam and he is all frazzled about that now.

I am a MSN student and have been a nurse for 3 yrs and am well aware of stereotypes of men in nursing. Frankly, I was disgusted too by the interpretation of men in nursing on this show and I am a woman. However, this blows my mind. I am very upset this has happened and really hope this doesn't compromise his ability to pass his classes now that this has happened. He is a very good student.

What does he do? Who does he talk to? How does he get past it?? Do they all worry about him becoming a problem?? Would love some input. How much do you push it and how much do you walk away from??? He has excellent grades and all the instructors have commented he will make a great nurse. Any thoughts would be helpful.

Thanks

rbs105

[morte, LPN, LVN]

who complained?

[rbs105, ADN, MSN, RN]

Apparently the instructor.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

perhaps he needs to have a meeting with the instructor and the instructors boss.....he should not attempt to confront the instructor personally, that would only exaserbate the issue.

[SeaOtter]

I agree with the previous poster. He needs to dot his i's and cross his t's from now on with that instructor. Make sure that he covers his butt with all discussions especially with the instructor and take it to their boss. He needs to not let it get into a position of the instructors words against his. If it gets to that point, I am affraid he will lose without proof. It is sad that the instrouctors word would be taken over his, but in the real world that is exactly what will happen and she will turn every little thing he does into a problem and she will eventually turn in enough paperwork in on him that he will lose in the end. This is just my 2 cents and thats how I would handle it.

S

[rbs105, ADN, MSN, RN]

The good thing is that he has a good reputation and even his classmates are upset that this happened to him. He spoke with another instructor who is also a dept head about it who believes she is off-base and just blew something out of proportion. The safety officer was saying it was no big deal, but I think he is offended more than anything that someone would even think he would cause a problem. He has already asked what other courses this lady teaches. He knows too, from years in management to not confront or discuss at least not without someone else being present. He feels better after talking to the dept head and she really backed him up, but it is still just very unfair that he has even been put in a position of awkwardness w/this lady. I think some women just really have it in for the guys....and I AM a woman!! There needs to be more men in nursing and crap like this is ridiculous. Thanks for your comments.....

[Music in My Heart]

What does he do?

He sucks it up and keeps his mouth shut and lets it go. How does he let it go? Just the same way that we let pass all other manner of disrespectful or inappropriate behavior... we just let it go. It's not in his best interest (no way, no how) to do anything besides just let this issue die a quiet death. There's no benefit to throwing himself upon his sword.

My advice to him: Man up and shut up.

Is it right? H$#@ no. Is it fair? F@#$ no. Is it OK? Of course not.

Is it the way that it is? Yes.

The people who can make the changes are the nurses who are already employed (people like yourself, for example), not the students who have no power, no influence, and are at the complete whim of their instructors. Once he's an employed nurse, then he can seek to fight the injustice.

Don't tangle with the system... even if you win you still lose sometimes... and rarely do you even win.

[LEN-RN]

Lesson learned. You never know who your going to offend.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

my concern is that the (potentially) very skewed view of him held by this instructor, may come back to haunt him if he does not get his side on the record.....also....if i were him i would want to know EXACTLY what the instructor found so offensive....how else do you avoid it in the future??

[LEN-RN]

my concern is that the (potentially) very skewed view of him held by this instructor, may come back to haunt him if he does not get his side on the record.....also....if i were him i would want to know EXACTLY what the instructor found so offensive....how else do you avoid it in the future??

Your right. The instructor may have it out for him now:( These types of situations are sticky. .

[LEN-RN]

Maybe the school had an inservice about discrimination, and this instructor is trying to get brownie points. Certainly sounds overzealous.

[rbs105, ADN, MSN, RN]

I think this is more an issue of it bugging him that someone would blow something up like this. Like in my heart (or whatever the posters name is) he has to just take it because he is the student and completely at his instructors mercy. I haven't quite figured out what he means by the 'man' comment but will chock it up to a guy thing! As morte said though, I would also want to know why this instructor did this. Obviously he has no choice but to suck it up. You can't let something stupid in school ruin a career. He seems to have enough people backing him and luckily, his reputation to stand on. Thanks for the thoughts...