Male in a female dominated field.. How bad is it really??

nursemike, ASN, RN · Oct 23, 2009

I was a carpenter for 25 years before entering healthcare, so it's a different world, for sure, but I like it. Frankly, I think what you see depends a lot on what you expect to see. I got into the field as an orderly (sorta) and most of my peers were also guys, so I was a bit insulated from the matriarchal society. I saw enough of the nurses and aides to learn that there were many I liked and a few I didn't care so much for. That pattern has held more or less true since becoming a nurse, myself, except that I like a greater percentage these days. Nothing like knowing first-hand what someone else is going through.

It probably seems obvious that a guy in nursing needs to be in touch with his feminine side. Empathy and caring are as important as the meds we pass. A lot of patients just need someone to be there for them, to listen to their concerns and understand what they are going through. It takes a strong back and a soft heart. But I'm not sure it's as widely recognized how much a gal in nursing needs to be in touch with her masculine side. Caring alone is just not enough. You have to be able to look at situations objectively and do what needs to be done. I think I'm a pretty strong man, but I've seen moments when all I really wanted to do was hide in the med room and cry, but I was able to hang in there and keep fighting for my patient because I had strong support from more experienced (female) nurses who'd been through similar moments more than a time or two and showed me how to cope.

If you look for cattiness, you'll find it. I have to concede that women--especially, if you'll forgive me, the younger ones--tend to deal with some things differently from most men. Still, for most of my carpentry career, I was self-employed. The guys I worked with knew I signed the paychecks, so I was a bit insulated from some of the drama. But I did a stint as one of 30 or so guys working for another contractor, and I was shocked at all the politics. Guys aren't supposed to have cliques! Guys don't gossip! Well...maybe not, unless you get more than 5 or 6 together.

As a nurse, I'm in a sort of unusual position. The most experienced nurses on my unit are women in my age group. When I attached telemetry leads, I often distort the mnemonic: instead of snow on the grass, smoke over fire, I say, "smoke on the water, fire in the sky..." It doesn't remotely fit, but a 30 yr nurse might chuckle and say, "Far out, man."

On the other hand, many of the younger women are as green as I am, so we have that "deer-caught-in-healdlights" expression in common. Our lives away from the job may be as different as night and day, but when we put on our scrubs, we're just trying to get through the shift without killing anybody, so there's an element a foxhole commaraderie.

And then, of course, there are a handful of guys, with varying amounts of experience. And those are the ones you talk to about issues like the hot new unit clerk isn't wearing a bra.

So, it's entirely possible to have a good time, being a nurse. I think the trick is to expect to have a good time, and to realize that sometimes, when you aren't having a good time, it's just a job.

japhina · Oct 25, 2009

My husband has been thinking about getting into nursing and after reading this thread I think I should tell him to go for it. I am in an ADN program now so we will be nurses together!

Also, NukeFX007, I am not thrilled at the tone that your response took. Yes some women are catty, gossipy, and ******, but I wouldn't consider all male nurses to be better than female nurses. That was going a bit far. I am frustrated as well that many nurses are this way. I wish that those types of women would be more professional too.

Lupan · Oct 25, 2009

It takes all kinds to make the world go round. After 20+ years in EMS and now a nurse I can relate to both sides of the fence. I was told by one nurse that MEN CAN'T BE GOOD NURSES. She had no info other than she was on a power kick and had like 5 failed marriges where the man was the problem. Then you have the patient that tells you that they prefer male nurses. I love nursing and take the good with the bad.

trimm · Nov 12, 2009

I have had both experiances. I have been treated very well moslty by older nurses and have been singled out by younger ones. My nurse manager never took a liking to me and she convinced her buddy the other nurse manager to do the same.

It was like night and day and I could never figure out what I did to make her treat me like that.

In my 7 years as a male nurse, I have had only one bad experiance with female nurses being catty against me. I made the mistake of telling my DON that the other staff loved me and she said "I know" and not in a flattering way.

I made mistakes, and I admit to that, but I saw other nurses set up meds, pass them early, get them taken off the med cart when they left them sitting out and put under the nurse managers door and nothing happened.

I know of a half a bottle of morphine that turned up missing. The last nurse that signed off on it should have got in trouble for falsifying the narc count. Nothing happened.

I had accusations made against me that I proved wrong and lost my job. I was brought to the office with the DON and the two nurse managers. As I explained what happened they took turns jabbing at me for everything they thought I did wrong.

It didn't matter, my termination was written up before I had a chance to explain, and after I did, they didn't care. I wasn't fired, I was exterminated.

I will chock this up to an isolated case since since I used to feel immune to the female cattyness. I know this time I was at the center of it.

Cthebigguy · Nov 13, 2009

At the risk of sounding like a butt head, I will tell you from my experience. Women can be great to work with, they can be compassionate, caring, friendly, and often can settle down residents better than men can. On the other hand though, we have had problems with gossip, back-stabbing, blaming (usual B.S.), and even temper tantrums (yes, one of my coworkers was not feeling well and was laying down for most of the shift, I asked her to do one thing and it was WWIII at the medication center). I have worked shifts with other male CNA's and it seems things get done much faster, and there isn't the drama. I guess it is easier to just say they are different, just be ready for anything.

Do I regret getting my CNA... only when the other noc shift CNA calls off and they can't find someone to cover.

Mike A. Fungin RN · Nov 23, 2009

it sucks when you're in school, not so much after

jimthorp · Nov 28, 2009

One thing...don't fish off the company pier. BAD BAD BAD thing to do.

I'm not convinced about this blanket statement.