LPN application essay. Please critique!

[30yearsmaking]

I have been out of school for more years than I would like to admit. I haven't wrote a paper since then. Please let me know what you think and how I can improve it. Thank you in advance!

State briefly why you wish to become a lpn, why you believe you will be a good nurse and what you feel your duties and responsibilities will be.

My journey to become a Licensed Practical Nurse started over 30 years ago. First with volunteering as a candy striper at my local hospital and then completing the CNA and Medical Assisting program while in high school. Regrettable, after my high school career ended, it seems that I lost my focus and let life get in the way.

Less than 2 years ago, my daughter suffered a severe injury. We spent months in the hospital. The nurses that I encountered were a life saver, not only for my daughter, but for me. These men and women have shown me that this is the profession that I was meant to be in.

I believe that I already process a few of the skills need to be a licensed practical nurse, I am empathetic, patient, flexible, a multi-tasker and have a passion to care for others. With those skills, and the skills that I will obtain at (school), I be able to fulfill my duties, responsibilities and a desire to be a licensed Practical Nurse.

[Purple_roses]

First paragraph, third sentence: change "Regrettable" to "Regrettably."

Second paragraph, first sentence: spell out "two."

Third paragraph, first sentence: "process" should be "possess."

I think this is a good start! Really emphasize why you will be a good fit for their program. They see that you lost your focus and are going to want to be reassured that if they accept you into their program, you will finish and pass NCLEX.

Good luck to you!

[30yearsmaking]

Thank you Purple-Rose! I will correct the spelling errors that you have pointed out.

What if I inserted this at the end of paragraph 2 - I truly believe that nursing is a calling. I hear that calling louder than ever. Nursing is something that I not only want to do, but feel the need to do.

[districthopeful]

"First with volunteering as a candy striper at my local hospital and then completing the CNA and Medical Assisting program while in high school." This is not a complete sentence. Maybe use something like, "I began by volunteering as a candy striper and then completed.."

Possess, not process.

"I believe that I already process a few of the skills need to be a licensed practical nurse, I am empathetic, patient, flexible, a multi-tasker and have a passion to care for others." First, need should be needed. Second, "I believe that I already [possess] a few of the skills [needed] to be a licensed practical nurse" and "I am empathetic..." are standalone sentences. Use a period in between to separate them.

Your last sentence should be "I will be able to fulfill..."

Also, you are not using consistent capitalization for licensed practical nurse throughout. From what I understand, licensed practical nurse should not be capitalized at all, unless licensed comes at the beginning of a sentence OR you're using the abbreviation.