Published Dec 8, 2004
wam79
115 Posts
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because, I pissed in it's ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
five minutes later...."Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty, can you bring a drink of water?"
"No, you had your chance. lights out."
five minutes later: "Da-aaad....."
"I'm thirsty, can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again, Ii'll have to spank you!!"
five minutes later........"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said, "I have to sleep in daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
A mother was pregnant with her third child, when her three year old came into the room while the mother was getting ready to get into the shower. The child said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
The mother replied, "Yes, honey, remember mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," the child replied, "But what's growing in your butt?"