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Lost, Confused, & Jaded. HELP :(

Posted
ulcia91 ulcia91 (New) New

I will be graduating from my BSN in just a few weeks, with my pinning ceremony coming up on May 5th. Since I started my prerequisities years ago, nursing was a passion of mine and I put my all into school (occasionally lazy of course). It was my pride and joy. Last semester, something really triggered my stress and anxiety in a med-surg clinical (trouble with a skill and miscommunication with preceptor, long story short). I do struggle with some anxiety issues, but since that event, I was extremely nervous for every clinical. This completely wore me out, and I couldnt snap out of the fear of making a mistake. Plus with the rigors of school and a stress CNA job (dementia care as a home health aide 40 hours in a row, day and night), I became burntout and stressed out to the max, and eventually depressed. Ever since then, even though this semester has been pretty much stress free, I have deeply been wondering if I made the right decision by going into nursing. I am really lacking motivation and do not feel the same passion I once did, I am in some ways not looking forward to a nursing career and have been slacking on finding jobs. I put so much work into this and I am so distraught that I feel this way now. I am praying I find my niche but even having the motivation to finds jobs has been brutal. Many people around me have jobs lined up already and I feel like I am the outsider who secretly is so jaded and just wants to go work at a grocery store or Starbucks for a little just to get a break from it all.

Nursing school is hard. Anyone will tell you that. Most of us hit a wall eventually during the process, that's normal.

Remember that having a "passion" for something that you've never actually done, is not really passion, it's riding the wave of excitement and hope. Those things wear down the harder a path gets.

Keep that in mind now that you've finally reached the end. Take a break, and reflect on the fact that real nursing is NOTHING like being a nursing student. Trust me on this one.

You've worked very hard to get where you are, give it an honest chance before you hang up your scrubs.

I think a break will do you some good, honestly. It'll allow you to distance yourself from the negative thoughts you're having regarding your experiences in school and gives you a fresh mind to start looking for your first position.

You got this.

Good luck!