Leaving my night shift NICU job

[Sweetpea04, BSN]

Leaving my night shift NICU job for my mental health but feeling guilty. 

Hello all!

I have been a registered nurse for now 2.5 years.

I worked in oncology for 2 years. it was tough but I learned a lot. I made many friends there. It's also where I met my fiancé who is a dayshift healthcare worker there. 

After 2 years..  I wanted to learn something new as I'm in my 20's and have no kids or responsibilities.

So I impulsively accepted a NIGHTshift NICU job.

I thought I was going to love it..... but the opposite. I am miserable. Been here 7 months. 

The babies and moms are adorable and I see why someone may love it here. But I don't feel it's for me and I feel like an odd ball for feeling this way.

I hate the night shift, I am a full morning person and can't sleep during the day. I hate missing out on life. I love having my normal days off as a day nurse.. 

 I also never see my SO who is on a opposite shift at a different hospital, I have bad FOMO from missing out on things that happen at night, and feel opposite from everyone in life. It's depressing.

I also miss working with adults and working in oncology accessing ports, giving chemo, and working days.

My current manager is allowing me to transfer back to my dayshift oncology job and although I feel like an idiot for giving up... I'm so excited to go back. The oncology unit and manager are excited to have me back.. 

I plan to stay there a couple years and try to land a job in chemo infusion or becoming an oncology NP. 

I can't shake off the feeling of guilt and embarrassment honestly though. I feel like the NICU is where many nurses come to love and stay here, but it hasn't happened to me. 

I feel like I'm doing this because work life balance is more important to me than working with babies. 

Anyone else experienced this? 

[RNNPICU, BSN, RN]

You should never feel bad about wanting work/life balance.

As for the FOMO on nights.  I am very much a morning person, and was able to do nights for several years.  I just flipped my mindset. I made myself be a day person on my days off.  Truly there was nothing I missed out on.  For people that have regular 9-5 jobs they miss out on having a day during the week they can enjoy the sunshine or other things.  Night shift worked for me for a while.  It only didn't when I had to flip/flop days and nights and that was too hard. 

 

There is no need to feel embarassed about not liking something.  You like Onc.  That is good. Many do not and could not do it.  Myself, I do not like that population and would struggle.  Babies, trach/vents pediatrics. sign me up. Chemo - ugh.  That is just to illustrate a point.  We all thrive in our environment that we enjoy. Nothing wrong with trying something new and finding out you don't enjoy it.

[Julia Liou, RN]

Hello Sweetpea04, thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I can understand your worry and concern about leaving a NICU position after 7 months, and it is completely normal to feel this way. I feel like as nurses we tend to want to be people pleasers, and have fears about burning bridges, but in the long run, what is the most important is your health and wellbeing. The beauty of nursing is that we have so many different fields that we go into, so if you feel like the unit that you are on isn't a great fit, it's okay. Being in the NICU is very different from oncology, especially when it's a very different means of developing rapport with your patients. I've worked in Postpartum for almost 4 years, and I have seen many nurses who had thought this would be their dream unit, decide to leave after a few months on the job. On a side note, if you are interested in becoming an oncology NP, feel free to review this article on the best oncology NP schools in the USA.