Layman's Medical Dictionary

[Jay-Jay, RN]

I got this item from the wife of a patient of mine. It was originally titled "Bill Clinton's Medical Dictionary", so some of you may have seen it already. It made me howl!

Artery - the study of paintings

Bacteria - the backdoor of the cafeteria

Bowel - letter like a,e,i,o,u

Caeserean Section - a neighbourhood in Rome

Cat Scan - search for kitty

Cauterize - made eye contact with her

Colic - a sheep dog

D & C - where Washington is

Dialate - to live long

Enema - not a friend

Fester - quicker

Genital - not a Jew

G.I. Series - soldier's ball game

Hangnail - coat-hook

Impotent - distinguished

Labour pain - getting hurt at work

Medical staff - a doctor's cane

Morbid - a higher bid

Nitrates - cheaper than day rates

Node - was aware of

Outpatient - a person who fainted

Pap smear - fatherhood test

Pelvis - cousin of Elvis

Post Operative - letter carrier

Recovery Room - place to do upholstery

Rectum - dang near killed 'em

Seizure - A Roman emperor

Tablet - a small table

Termial Illness - getting sick at the airport

Tumor - more than one

Urine - opposite of you're out

Vein - conceited