I just started a job in LTC in NJ and am still an orientee (4 weeks left) and I already hate it. At this point I'm not sure if the hospital setting would be much better because I realize that it is nearly as stressful. I'm kind of upset that I spent so much getting my BSN through an accelerated program (had another degree) so I don't want it to go to waste but now I feel like the only thing keeping me is the fact that besides feeding myself and paying bills, I have to pay back all these loans. I would like to say first that I did not get into this for the money as this was a career change I made because I didn't want to pursue my masters to become a PT. I felt that in my prior experiences in working as a unit clerk, PT assistant, and home companion while I was completing my previous degree in Exercise Science and Sports Studies that I would enjoy nursing so I decided to go for it within 6 months after I graduated with my first Bacherlors.
I am being oriented by people whom I believe to be very knowledgeable and kind but I am being taught "short cuts" because the work load is just too much. I've been told that "there is the facilitiies' way, then there is the real way." At first I thought that this was not that true, but how wrong I have been because I've seen nurses on my floor and others so overwhelmed that they've fudged numbers on vitals and even scheduled meds together just to save time. I feel like a drug bartender, maid, and a slave all at the same time on a daily basis pushing a cart up and down the hall during med pass in which we "are not to be interrupted" but is a fallacy. One couple threatens to "have us fired" if we don't hurry up with her vicodin while I have to keep an eye on a confused woman who recently fell and keeps continuing to walk around without her walker and can't seem to sit for 1.5 mins without getting up and wandering and asking me where her teeth and glasses are even though I reassure her that they are on her face and in her mouth. They tell me that this is a "no lift facility" even though I already had to lift a patient into bed because there was no one to help and there was only one hoya lift on the floor that was in use already. This same patient I had to help into bed already had family that came in that threatened to sue because he had fallen once and they accused us of not being vigilant enough.
It scares me and annoys me constantly that we can and will be written up for staying late too much because of not being able to get everything done on time. I'm still learning and even up until now with the 36 patient per nurse load, although I only have 18 for now, its still too much to get done in the 8 hours. I've not been oriented on my shift because "there were no eligible nurses to orient me" so I may be left alone after the next two weeks on my assigned shift of 3-11 and all this while I've been oriented on days.
Already I've witnessed things that made me question how corporations can continue to squeeze the life out of the bottom line just to make money. I attended an "inservice" which entailed us being talked at rather than being spoken to, about how we need to be more cautious of how we prevent infection control even though only 12 of the 24 rooms on the floor had hand soap and some of the hand sanitizer dispensers were nearly empty. We were then told that at "XYZ facility, the patients are allowed to do whatever they want and we just have to let them."
I and the CNAs who happen to be of color, were called N's to our faces and told we were !@#$ers because a patient lost a football jersey that his dad got him for Christmas and he thought that we stole it. All the while of him spewing explitives and racial slurs for 5 mins straight an ADON was present and didn't even budge until he started to throw things and that's when she finally intervened.
I got sick last week and have been trying to work through it and between what I'm dealing with, not getting to take breaks, and just feeling generally overwhelmed and drained, I feel horrible.
This is week 3 of orientation for me and 2.5 weeks on the unit and already I am thinking of looking for something else that will hopefully encompass my nursing and previous degree while keeping this job on the side after 6 months. I've started job searching again and feel so sad that its come down to this once more. I'm not sure what else to do and if it will be better. I will not quit and know that I "have to find my niche" but med surg sounds like more pain if anything or just as bad. If anyone has been in this position and knows what else to do please let me know because I refuse to be unhappy after working so hard to get to this point and I can't leave my job because I need the money.
In this instance I felt like I was powerless because a.) I'm still and orientee and haven't been on the unit that long, b.) jobs are hard to come by and c.) being one of color I feel almost as if I'm not allowed to speak out because it would not have been understood. I mention the last point because just this past Friday there was yet another inservice which only included the CNA's (all people of color) which I overheard. The jist of the "inservice" was basically not to "provoke" or do anything that would make the residents upset because they pay good money to be at XYZ facility and they are always right and are entitled to good service. All I can do is my part and look for different jobs while I maintain this one until I can leave completely. I don't want to be part of the problem and feel like I'm always doing something wrong, especially so early.
namazonian
30 Posts
Hi Carol,
In this instance I felt like I was powerless because a.) I'm still and orientee and haven't been on the unit that long, b.) jobs are hard to come by and c.) being one of color I feel almost as if I'm not allowed to speak out because it would not have been understood. I mention the last point because just this past Friday there was yet another inservice which only included the CNA's (all people of color) which I overheard. The jist of the "inservice" was basically not to "provoke" or do anything that would make the residents upset because they pay good money to be at XYZ facility and they are always right and are entitled to good service. All I can do is my part and look for different jobs while I maintain this one until I can leave completely. I don't want to be part of the problem and feel like I'm always doing something wrong, especially so early.