Published May 23, 2004
dollface
5 Posts
DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU or BEWARE THE CURE FOR MIGRAINE HEADACHES
The Doctor said: "The Good News is, I can cure your headaches. The Bad News is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to release the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice and that he had to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was headache free for the first time in over 20 years, but he felt as if he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store, and thought, "That's exactly what I need, a new suit."
The elderly salesman eyed him quickly and said, "Let's see, you're a size 44 long." Joe laughed and said, "That's right! How did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the tailor asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment, and then said, "Sure." "Let's see, 16 1/2 neck, 34 sleeve." Joe was surprised, "How did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years."
The shirt fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman said, "You could use some new shoes." Since Joe was on a roll, he said, "Sure." The man eyed Joe's feet and said, "9-1/2E." Joe was astonished and said, "How did you know?"
"Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shoes, and they fit perfectly.
As Joe walked comfortably around the shop, the salesman asked, "How about new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment, laughed, "Sure, why not?" The man stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see, size 36."
Joe laughed. "Finally, I've got you!" I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old!"
The tailor shook his head. "You can't wear a size 32. If you wore a size 32 underwear, it would press your testicles against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"