It's Time To Go

[NTechTruth]

This past year, being a CNA has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. Made me understand how things really work in nursing. From patient care to politics, I've been through it all. Recently, my eyes have opened more working this past weekend on a night shift, and I realized something.

I can't do this anymore.

I have been a CNA for over four years. Back in 2012, I was a fresh, young assistant with a first job ever! Yes, it was hard, and I had my moments. From working nights to days, then leaving my job to go back to school, and then going back again after school didn't work out was a lot, but an experience that made me a better person.

When I came back, everything was basically the same, until I started to notice something. I saw the decline of nursing coming.

People are getting sicker, heavier, and that's not even the big part. What's disturbing is that most people just don't care. Only a small amount of people who have a heart and actually cares exist. But as time will prove again and again, they will disspear, and soon the storm will come. In fact, it's getting closer and closer every time I come into work.

Bosses are more demanding then ever, CNA's now don't do what they are supposed to do, more nurses are now refusing to help, and a big one, one to no CNA on a unit. Overall, they expect you to give the best care no matter what, and that's something I can't continue to do.

The past weekend I was working, and Saturday an Sunday nights was the big eye opener. I had to work on another floor, and a CNA I knew had a floor to herself. The floor I went to had eight total care patients with a CNA and only two nurses. In fact, a nurse asked me to give her a hug because they needed a CNA on the floor. I appreciated that, but it wouldn't matter, as the night was a nightmare.

A few hours later, the supervisor called, telling me I had to go back to my floor. I was surprised, as I knew the nurses needed me there. They asked me to stay because we didn't have time to check or turn most of the patients. They didn't want me to leave, and I knew I couldn't leave either. For example, one room I was going in and out of constantly because the patient was pooping and screaming. The nurse helped, but at the wrong time. It was time for meds for her patients, and she just told me to leave the patient there. Even though I didn't agree, I had no choice. So we left the patient there for a while, and there was nothing we could do.

Before I left, the nurse called the supervisor trying to find another CNA, because it was just too much for two female nurses and you know what she said?

"Just do what you can."

So, I go back to my floor and I find out that the other CNA left, because she was sick, due to having the whole floor to herself and being stressed out about it. Now, I didn't know if it was true, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt, because it was really that bad. Only two nurses on the floor with a charge nurse...

One of the nurses was surprised that a hospital would do something like this. I told her that this was nothing was new, and that they do it all the time. They just don't care. And she had an important point that was crucial. People could loose their licenses over it.

The next night, I have the whole floor, again. I was upset, but I did what I had to do. But even when I think about it, it's just not right.

The only reason I even worked on the floor by myself was because it was my floor, and I knew the nurses. But if it was somewhere else, you can forget about it.

Something got me angry that night. A nurse was giving another nurse report on one patient, and she told her that the patient complained because "no one came last night," and told everybody . The nurse leaving the shift had the nerve to tell me to check on the patient frequently. I didn't get angry, but upset because I told her "look, I have the whole floor to myself. What do you want me to do?" Of course she told me to give the patient the call light, and I did check when I had time, but I felt that they were putting the blame on me, and I wasn't even on the floor the first half of the night. Plus, when I came I did go to that patient a few times, but what more could I do? Even with the nurse's help, it was still too much.

I know people are going to say to work somewhere else, but I hear stories every where that nursing is getting worse. It's just not happening at the hospital, but basically everywhere. If this is what nursing is coming to, then I want no part of it.

I still like helping people, and I still want to be in healthcare, but not for nursing. Every time I go to work, I want to give the best care I can give. But now when I go to work, I feel pressured on what group I'm going to have. What nurse I'm going to have. Where I'm being sent to on another floor. How can I do that with so much pressure? Why does higher management make people go through this, and think nothing of it? Why isn't the issue being addressed?

Because they don't feel the need to. And that's the problem.

I had people tell me to share my concerns to the right people, but I just don't care anymore. For a long time, I had to go through of what nursing is becoming, a nightmare coming. A start of the storm. And it's only going to get worse. I just know. And as long as their people who only care about profits and cooperate business, there won't be a change. I don't want to be that person who just says "do what you can." I hate being that person in not giving great care because people won't wake up and see what we see every time we take care of people. They don't want to understand what we have to go through. They won't listen to us, only their pockets, and that's what they get at the end of the day. What right do any of us have not to give the best care possible? Who are we to treat people who need our help?

All I want to do now is just to do my job. I really don't care about the money, I just want to make sure I do my job good. But with more adding pressure as the days to come, It's just not enough anymore.

Soon, I will find another job in healthcare, and I will put this behind me. It's time to hang it up. It's time to go.

[neuron]

All I learned was to not be a 'CNA' anymore. I did just that. I couldn't do all what was necessary. I still do what I can, and I accept that. The only way to keep my sanity was to leave.