It it okay to hug a child?

[guest1200295]

I'm not a nurse, but a support staffer. While offering support to a family in deep grief, one of the kids, maybe 8, 9, or 10 years old, trailed after me into the hallway, asked me some questions, and seemed like they wanted to talk. I offered some supportive, empathic listening in the hallway. I knew this was a hard time for the child, and after chatting a little, I said, "would it be okay if I give you a hug?" The child smiled and I gave them a little hug. Later, I thought, good grief, I probably should have asked the parent first? I don't usually deal with kids, so this has me wondering. Thank you.  

[Snoozer788]

As someone who works in peds, I think that was OK. But I certainly understand your trepidation given this new atmosphere that we have to adapt to.  It used to be that we would be labeled heartless if we turned away from a grieving child.  It's crazy how the spectrum has changed.  In my opinion, if I were that child's parent, I would have been grateful that someone took the time to listen to my child and give him some comfort when he needed it.  Having been in a similar situation as that child, I was never approached by anyone willing to give me comfort.  I felt alone and frightened while my world was crashing around me.  I felt I needed to be strong for those around me so they wouldn't feel even more grief.  When I look back, I wish I had someone approach me in the hallway and tell me that it was going to be OK and let me cry on their shoulder.  I still think about that very hard situation I went through and I carry those hard memories with me.  I wish you didn't have to question your action.  In my opinion you gave that child a precious memory that he will be able to cherish for the rest of his life.

[guest1200295]

Oh, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, which encourages me greatly. I was thinking to myself, "Well, that hug was either wrong, or possibly a comforting thing for that child." You wrote that you felt you needed to be strong for those around you, and I wonder the same for this child. If I see the parent again, do you think I should tell them that I gave that hug?