Is 5 years long enough?

[angelstrings]

Is 5 years long enough to know I'm in the wrong field? I keep asking myself. I kind of knew I had chosen the wrong field while I was still in school. However, I always did so well in class and had a 3.9 GPA. My clinical instructors liked me and I could literally get along with everyone. I kept my nose in the books, and really enjoyed learning new stuff and taking exams.

First medsurg job I think I was in a honeymoon period. No matter how hard things were I still kept pressing onward and enjoyed the camaraderie of my companions, doctors, nurses and so on.

Second medsurg job was much the same. I just wanted to relocate to a totally new and exciting place and experience nursing there. So I did. Medsurg became a quickly fatiguing job, and I saw no end of it. I could literally see myself doing this when I'm 70. No thanks.

Then I tried my hand at PACU, which was SO out of my comfort zone. I am naturally "tightly wound" so even though I was doing well in the books side of training, I was freezing up and having panic attacks on the floor. I cut my losses.

Then I obtained work at a juvenile facility. I love my coworkers, and love my interactions with the population I serve. Here's the but...The workflow is not congruent to a good outcome for me, I fear. There is no computerized charting. I have made errors based on faulty interpretation of what the doctor wrote (hand writing). No harm done. But in all my time in hospitals nothing like this ever happened to me. I am stuck between wondering if I should move on to find another nursing job, or simply go back to school. If I do go back, I am ashamed to say that there is nothing that I have any interest in. I will be choosing something based on how much I can earn-just as I did when I chose nursing.

I keeping going back and forth because, while it's not my dream job, I actually DO LOVE the work I do while I'm doing it. On the other hand, too many more of these mistakes and I WILL be dismissed. Maybe better now to quit and move on to something else? I know that most of the time, it isn't even about the work, but the support from coworkers, and the training you receive during orientation. My training left way too much to be desired. The job itself has let go way too many other nurses. I wasn't there so I don't know all of the reasons.

Even my manager tells me, I'm a good nurse. She wants me to stay. I really love them all. I just know what I see, and each of my mistakes go right back to poor workflow, and refusing to change workflow so that the same errors don't happen again.

I'm late 30's. I don't want to keep searching and fiddling around. Does any of this sound familiar? What did you do?

[pasdequoi]

Hi Angelstrings,

Just a note to give you my two cents and some encouragement. I get where you are coming from. I've had a similar relationship to nursing for several decades now, lots of ambiguity starting with my BSN program, wondering "what am I doing, why am I here…" In my case, I have gone back and forth between nursing (many areas) and another field in which I have advanced degrees. It works for me, makes me happy and makes me appreciate both fields all the more. I do not recommend, however, that you pursue grad school or a BS in another field unless it is something you truly love, due to the usual hardships associated with reduced income and potential for reduced employment prospects. So to answer "is 5 years long enough?" - to me, yes, if you really cannot picture yourself ever being being reasonably happy with any nursing job, and IF you are sure that none of the myriad types of nursing jobs out there would be a good fit, then go ahead and give yourself permission to move on. If you do follow another path, keep your license active or at least pay to make it officially inactive - do not let it lapse! Those RN credentials can come in handy in the outside world and if you want to return to nursing, you won't want to jump through the hoops to get your license back.

But - if you want to stay, switching to different specialties is fine - that is one of the perks of nursing. The impression I get from reading your post is that you like a certain amount of structure, a collegial atmosphere, and are not too keen on critical situations. Maybe outpatient procedures lab or ambulatory care (adolescent medicine?). How about juvenile case management? If you like the type of work you are doing now in the juvenile facility (not sure if you mean a children's hospital or correctional/psychiatric facility), if it was me, I'd look for a new but similar job. If you are making mistakes and the factors contributing to those mistakes are outside of your control and not being corrected, I would definitely move on...

Best of luck to you, sounds like you are very insightful and will land on your feet!

[angelstrings]

Thank you for the warm words of encouragement. It really helped me start my day.

[Libby1987]

You sound like you have a good work ethic in general and enjoy work relationships, I imagine you would probably be happy in any decent work situation regardless of the task at hand. So instead of figuring out *what* you want to do, look for a team environment with ample opportunities when you are ready for a new challenge.