Is this it?

[Disillusioned]

A bit of background: I'm newly qualified, I trained in London but have moved out of London to a smaller city for my first job. I have been working autonomously for about a month now.

I just didn't anticipate hating my job right now. Throughout training, my student colleagues were worrying if they had chosen the right job. I never once had that worry. Although I had a range of study placements, some of which I enjoyed more than others, I never disliked the job, or had any issues with staffing. Until I moved out of London.

Basically, the staffing here is horrendous. You have 7-9 patients in the day, and 14 each at night. This is unacceptable in my opinion. Of course 80% of them are confused, there are admissions and discharges, extremely long lists of drugs to be given, all of them constantly need bedpans, etc etc. I don't feel like I'm managing anything more than getting through my day unscathed at the moment. But that's not why I started the job! It's not at all satisfying! I was so calm and kind with patients previously, and now I simply don't have time for anything other than the ever expanding list of tasks and checks and paperwork and bedpans. I always intended to be an ITU nurse anyway. But am I kidding myself? Will I hate that too? BIG sigh.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

From across the pond . . . Your distress and sadness is so apparent. I'm sorry that you find yourself in this position. You are not alone.

I have found that this feeling of disenchantment is pretty universal among new graduates I have worked with over the last 3+ decades. Nursing education is a difficult thing. Part of the process is to instill students with passion and commitment for our profession. On the other hand, the students with which we are most successful in this regard are the ones who are most likely to suffer the greatest letdown when they hit the reality of actual practice.

I wish I had a better answer for you. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone.