Is it possible to be too compassionate to be an effective nurse?

Pachinko · Jan 22, 2009

It's hard at first, but you begin to develop a clinical detachment as your practice advances. That's not a bad thing; it's necessary and makes you a better nurse. Oddly enough, the challenge becomes *remaining* compassionate once you've attained proficiency. It's easy to start seeing patients as manifestations of illnesses and vital signs. Good, experienced nurses who retain a rapport with patients and can connect emotionally while still retaining boundaries and doing their jobs are the best.

J9G2008 · Jan 22, 2009

I don't know that I ever want to feel detached when I hear about someone killing an innocent baby. That said, I think nursing is a lot like being a parent. Sometimes, you have to force someone you care about to do things because they need to, even if it hurts. I am thinking about physical therapy, immunizations, surgeries, etc. No one WANTS to hurt their child, or their patient, but sometimes it's in their best interests to force them to work through the pain.

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Jan 22, 2009

I am a school nurse in a low income area, and unfortunately I see some cases of abuse and suspected abuse. The thing that helps me is realizing that becoming overly sympathetic to the point of coddling these kids is not what they need. They need an adult to be strong emotionally, because if you cannot handle the things that happened to them, how in the world can they. I hide my shock and horror when they tell me things and I provide support and referrals to CPS, and maybe most importantly and ear and reassurance. That is not to say that I don't fall apart when I get home, but I never let the kids see it.

missjennmb · Jan 22, 2009

I had the SAME fears as you do, still do to a point. I always thought that I just could not possibly handle seeing a bad situation and have more than once thought that maybe I was doing all of this for naught. Before my first clinicals I thought I would go insane working in a LTC facility seeing old people and knowing they were going to die fairly soon and seeing them in such bad shape. Once I got there, a switch clicked and I no longer worried about it. I just did what I needed to do, which was give them care, attention and the benefit of my as-of-yet-limited skills, and know that when I walked out at the end of the day, I made a difference. I admit it bothers me when people leave their loved ones on G tubes for years and years even though they're so far gone that they cannot even turn their head or break a smile, but I digress. Then I thought that i would feel that way about people who were "really" in trouble, in the hospital. My biggest fear was the ER. Today I had my first day of ER clinicals (and my first day at the hospital all together) and it was AMAZING. I saw a brain bleed that had to be transported for brain surgery, a CHF w/ skyrocketing bp, 2 teens, a male violence victim, a homeless man w/ a cleanliness issue and a ton of other issues. It was simply.amazing. I know I did not see a small child, and I think that would really bother me still, but as my preceptor said... if you cant handle it, get someone else. That told me that it is OK to not be able to do it all coming out of the gate. It also told me that even "real" nurses have problems with this for him to mention it, and to be quite honest, once I did my first proceedure, I realized that I don't give myself enough credit, and I think I could really do this. Its amazing what you are capable of. I think that we, atleast me, spend too much time on the "what ifs" because I find with nursing school that I continually suprise myself and do better than I ever thought possible.

ps. I got my first cath on my first (obese) patient, first shot, straight in w/ the instructor looking on! woohoo!

redtshirt · Jan 22, 2009

You do all you can to help people get better and if you know theyre not going to then you care for them to allow them have a peacul comfortable death. A lot of nasty things happen, you can't turn back time and stop them you can only deal with the aftermath the best way you can and put things in place to prevent further harm to you patients

animal1993 · Jan 23, 2009

Thank you all so much. I have to say that I am more than just a little relieved to know that I'm not the only one who gets emotional! I was almost afraid that someone would just tell me to pack it up and call it a day! (Thanks for being kind, as well as honest.) I know that it will get easier to deal with most patient issues. I just cannot fathom how someone can deliberately hurt another person. Especially an innocent baby who couldn't even defend himself. It just really makes me sad.

Thanks again!