Hello fellow nurses. I have worked in an ICU since 2019 in NYC. When Covid hit everything changed. I started hating my job, hating coming to work, getting panic attacks to the point where my mom had to give me some self prescribed Xanax. Which helped for a out a few hours, this was at 2 am and I ended up calling in sick to work. I’ve gained 60lb during this whole time, I find it harder to go to work everyday seeing all these hopeless cases all the 85 year olds coming in with DNR/DNI that get like 3-4 pressers and end up dying on my floor. Feels like the morgue. Granted we are not a trauma center but still. I honestly hate my job, I never thought I’d say this but I hate this job have 0 compassion for my fellow man, my knees hurt, my doctor just diagnosed me with severe morbid obesity class 2 ( didn’t even know obesity had classes , guess I just zipped pass class one straight to 2) with 41% BMI. I want to lost weight, and do one of two things . Either re-ignite my passion for nursing and continue with my dream towards CRNA or quit ICU all together for a different job. Please help, if you read this post something, anything, really, I can’t do this anymore.