I think I'm ready to give up on nursing and it's frustrating...

[Hellostudentnurssee]

I initially didn't want to be a nurse. I heard so many night shift stories from my ICU nurse mom growing up. They were awful and if anything, I felt bad for her and her co-workers. Of course, she tried to recruit me throughout the years. The only thing I found interesting was how the heart worked. This became my science fair topic in 4th grade and loved it. In high school, I needed volunteer hours so I worked at my mom's hospital as a patient escort. Through that whole experience, I changed my mind and wanted to be a nurse. In college, I took my pre-reqs and was able to get my associate's in pre-nursing classes. I also got my CNA and worked in many nursing homes, as well as group home for developmentally challenged residents. I also got a great opportunity to volunteer at the cardiac cath lab for 2 years while I was taking pre-reqs. My grades weren't the best but they were okay and I had great experience. I was rejected many times 2 years in a row- all RN and BSN programs. I was ready to give up but a friend encouraged me to try and apply for an LPN program. I did it for kicks and was surprised to get in. I was 23. It was a 2 year program and I had planned to go to a bridge program. I had a great relationship with the director who encouraged my plans and said to apply straight to bridge programs. Things in life aren't guaranteed. As my classmates were taking NCLEX, I wanted to carry out to an RN program but the bridge programs in my state were closing or reserved for their current LPN students. My director had just left her position and new "management" and policies were enforced in my school. I took the LPN NCLEX for kicks and because everyone else was doing.

I felt lost and was not planning to take this. I really wanted to just go ahead and get my RN. All the bridge programs in my state required new classes, new TEAS tests, and now an LPN license. I failed twice. At this time of my life, things happened. I met the best guy and fell in love Needless to say, I lived my life and for the first time, nursing came in 2nd place. The next year, I was planning to possibly take the NCLEX BUT I had a great opportunity at my dream job and dream unit - to work in med surg telemetry as a tech. I've ALWAYS wanted to work in a hospital and believed that this experience would help me greatly if I returned back to nursing school. I felt I REALLY learned everything in clinical vs. classes. Within 2 years, I worked with AMAZING nurses who were great on and off the floor. I finally knew what a yankauer suction was (a power trip clinical instructor gave me the hardest time bc we didn't know this - they don't teach this kinda thing in class haha). I worked with patients with advanced heart failure in a hospital known and awarded for amazing technological advances in cardiac devices. Because of this, I've met people from all over the country and it's been great. It's definitely had it's challenging moments and times where I've been so tired but I'm still there and I absolutely love it. It would be more than a dream to be working there as a nurse (and yes, I know how insane I sound saying that bc it is a crazy job).

As I had the courage to apply again, I had an old professor encourage me to apply for the Public Health program. I'm nearing my 30's and I don't even have a bachelor's yet. She said, "you never know with nursing but at least get this bachelor's degree and you can go anywhere after this." Times have changed. My associate's degree in pre nursing meant nothing and a bachelor's the minimum in having respect in the real world. I got accepted and am now in a public health program. It's been conflicting because I woke up every morning feeling miserable bc this is not what I want to do. On the other hand, most of my classmates are using degree as a step up to become nurses, PA's, and dentists. Throughout this time, I met the new director of my old nursing program. Long story short (after many conversations and just being stubborn and telling her how much I NEED to be in the program), she said they MAY have a spot this coming spring quarter (depending if anyone fails so again, it's not guaranteed) BUT i'd have to go through the application process all over again, including my LPN license WITH work hours. If I want that spot, I would have to take my test in 2-3 weeks. It's insane but I signed up for it and am currently studying.

However, I just feel like giving up now. I know - why stop now? I know age doesn't have to do with anything but I felt I spent ALL OF MY TWENTIES dedicated to nursing. I"ll be 30 this year and I feel like i haven't done anything at all. I'm tired of the changes with stupid nursing programs. I was thinking of going to an accelerated BSN program after graduating next spring 2017 but at the same time, I need to move on with my life - get married, have kids... my boyfriend has been more than supportive but he also tells me that there's more to life and he's right. I feel life giving up and all of these things weren't worth it. I feel like the whole LPN thing was a sham. Why even offer the program if you can't even support us and grandfather us to finish our RN? Our state is one of the most competitive with nursing. People move out of state just to get an education. I feel like it's too late for me to move my life and move out of state...It's not late but I'm not 22 or 23 years old anymore. I just want to be settled and stable now.

I feel like i just have to surrender and it's hard for me to see the positive now...

Thank you for listening

[Whitesranch, BSN, RN]

One of my best girlfriends in nursing school was pushing 50!, 30 is still very young get into a nursing program and take a couple of years to finish school, you can do it! Don't give up, and later you will say " I am glad I did". So many opportunities, it's a good job and flexible to raise a family!