should I stay or should I go ?

[geripsychnurse]

I am approaching the end of my first year of nursing and need some advice about how I have been feeling and what to do next.

Although I am very proud to be a nurse and do my very best to provide the best care possible, I am getting very little satisfaction from this occupation. I thought at first it was my place of work, so I switched jobs, but my feelings remain unchanged. It has not become 'better'. There are many reasons for my feelings and the main difficulty I am having with nursing is the stress it entails. I am a high stress person by nature and I am finding it very difficult to go home and not analyze every little thing I have done during my shift and worry about those things that were not done so well. I am constantly thinking, did I do that right ? Beyond that, I feel unsatisfied with my level of knowledge and look at other staff with comparable experience and think 'they know so much more than me' and get down on myself. I have even enrolled and almost finished a post-grad certificate and I still feel that I am lacking. Thirdly, although I take pride in helping any patient in any way I can, whether that be a brief change or administering medications, I am viewing these actions as 'tasks', which I know is not a good outlook. All in all, I dread going to work and I am always finding myself searching for new careers. I get through the tasks of the day and hope nothing goes wrong during my shift.

I am now in my second nursing job. The first I left because it was too overwhelming. And although this second job is better (the population and staff are great), I am finding myself once again getting overwhelmed and stressed out (especially when I am in charge).

I really don't know if I am cut out for nursing and the stress and tasks it entails. My patients are fairly stable, but I still get overwhelmed when little things go wrong. My constant analyzing is making me crazy. Does anyone else feel this way ? I would like to stay in nursing and find joy in my career, not just because its good money and well-respected. Any advice/personal experiences would be much appreciated. Thanks !

Sincerely,

geripsychnurse

[Nurzelady]

Tell us a little bit more of the type of nursing you're doing right now. If it's bedside, maybe you need to just pull away from bedside nursing and focus on the things you like about your job and try something outside of patient care