I am having an early mid-life crisis

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Specializes in critical care.

I graduated from an ASN program in 2000 and a BSN in 2007. I have worked most of my 9 years in nursing in adult ICU at a large, teaching hospital. I have changed departments a couple of times, worked float pool, some agency stuff PRN, etc. I am 31-years-old.

I started my MSN in 1/2008 and have dropped out of my program twice (NP). I don't think I want to be a NP. I shadowed several and it just doesn't appeal to me. I think the pay is terrible for the amount of hours and responsibility you take on. I changed my major to nursing education instead. I am all set to do this MSN/Education thru an employer sponsored program but I am starting to chicken out because of the comittment (3 years in the program and 2 after graduation).

I have never loved nursing. I do my job and I do it well. I get along well with my co-workers, the patients and the families. But I have never been passionate about it. But honestly I could leave the bedside and never look back. I have thought about completely abandoning nursing and going back to school for something different. I have thought about making a huge change in specialities (like moving to NICU or case management). I just don't know what to do and I feel like I am wasting so much time!

Has anyone BTDT? Made a big change? Been in this rut? Any advice?

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Specializes in PCCN.

I am in this rut now- except I would definitely be more mid- life than you - Im44. I like you, could leave nursing and never look back. I do my job, and have been told I do it well. But I am sick of it. I don't want the liability of being an RN any longer.

As far as wasting time- youre not wasting time- it all counts. maybe trying a different specialty like you said. Or the case management- you have the degree for that- why not give it a try. Over all it would look good on a future resume. What about finishing your degree in education not with a sponsored program- therefore no commitment?

good luck.

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Specializes in Long-term care, home health.

I am glad I'm not the only one who feels this way! I am 45 years old, a nurse for 25 years, and I am in a stage of burnout. I never "wanted" to be a nurse. My family was very poor, and I went to nursing school only because I could walk there (we had no car), and the 3 year hospital-based diploma program was affordable with a loan. I REALLY wanted to get into wildlife research and conservation (quite a far cry from nursing, eh?), but family situation, etc. wouldn't allow for college. But enough about that. Like you, starbuck, I never "loved" nursing. I knew I never would my very first day of nursing school. But I feel I did an admirable job making the best of it. I've had just 4 jobs in my 25 years, leaving home health only because the agencies I worked for closed. I'm now in long-term care. Nursing IS a good career- I am very fortunate to have job security and make a half-decent salary with good benefits, and I've given it my all and know I've done my job well. But the thoughts of 22 more years of this till I retire (IF I CAN retire) has me so distraught. So many people have admirably gone back to school to do what they really wanted, but I have no desire or energy (or $$!) to do that at my age. (If I were younger like you, starbuck, I'd consider it!) I guess I'm lazy or whatever, or just afraid of the financial risk of college and then regaining all that if I could ever find a job in what I really want to do. I don't know what point I'm even trying to get at here as I whine and vent. I guess I just need emotional support, and maybe a job change. Hopefully I can get into a more + frame of mind!

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Specializes in critical care.

I know I am not alone on this that is for sure. The idea of starting all over in a new career, more student loans, etc does not sound appealing. I am between two ideas right now...getting the MSN in Education (on my own, without commitment) or getting an Associate's degree in computer information systems, lol. Maybe I will do both! I like the thought of teaching in an RN to BSN program or an LPN program. Or being a unit educator. Or working on the computer side of things....

Thanks!

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Specializes in PCCN.

7starbuck7- - i heard that nursing informatics is an option- since you are considering going to school, why not check that aspect out? i know one of the colleges here where I live has a focus on that- just I cant afford that kind of tuition now. but maybe you have an option by you?

catnip3- can you return to homecare in another area? sounds like you enjoyed that better than LTC. in regarding further education- i understand the not wanting another loan. I know it would be hard to provide for the home and continue to work. but like you said- the thought of having to do this til retirement( what retirement????? lol)is not a nice one. what about checking out the wildlife/conservation aspect- do they offer it part time- where paying as you go might be an option?so, maybe it takes you 5 years to complete- well thats 17 less years in nursing then LOL. sometimes things have to be manipulated to make them look good:)

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Specializes in Long-term care, home health.

I AM seriously considering going back to home health. I'm sure a lot of agencies provide flexibility with scheduling if I only want to work 32 hours a week. Thanks for the support!!

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If you have the means to follow your heart then by all means do that!! My wife has been on the teeter-totter on med school vs NP and it looks like NP will win out. She loves being a nurse and doesn't care about money and feels so limited right now.

Good luck!! I hope you find something you love to do.

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