I cried and my patient thanked me

[angeloublue22, BSN, RN]

Here's a little back story. I had never cried in front of patients and I always told myself I never would. I don't get easily flustered. I'm usually the steady rock in a situation. I work in a medical detox. I'm sure most of you know what working with addicts is like but if you don't it can be a mentally demanding job because the patients, especially the younger ones, are manipulative and try to get away with everything they can. Anyway, I had two young men try their best to break as many rules as they could and would argue with the staff. I had been by myself for 2 days with this group of especially challenging patients for 2 days as we had staffing issues and I had no support staff. The first day was hell as I was trying to keep an eagle eye on them and deal with the medical issues. The second day we had a meeting with all the patients to let them know that anymore rules violations would result in them being asked to leave. Thirty minutes after the meeting. The two young men snuck in another patient's room. I immediately went into the room and spoke with the two young men and decided to get their discharge papers ready. One started threatening me and yelling and the other was just sad. Both these men were good kids but the addiction was too strong. I felt really bad for both of them knowing that they would both be using as soon as they walked out the door but I had to follow through and they were both poisoning the milieu. As soon as I closed the door after discharging the men, for some reason, I cried right in front of the other patients. I immediately excused myself but I was completely embarrassed. I took about a minute to calm down. I guess the tears were for the frustration of losing people to their addictive behaviors. I went back to my routine of taking vital signs. One of the patients that was usually distant said, "Thank you." I said, "For what? For being completely unprofessional?" She said, "No, because you showed your heart today. It shows that you really do care about us." I did not expect that. Has anyone else had this happen?