It's my fault, I didn't study as hard as I thought I did. You know how it is, you start to lose that steam you had at the beginning of the semester. In our program 75.5 is passing. I had a 73.11 or something close to it before the final exam. I needed a 79 to have an ending average of 74.77. Well, I made a 77 on the final, and my average ended up being 74.17...not even half of a measley point. I didn't beg for the extra points because that would have just barely passed me. I cried a ton when they told me, and so did my instructors. I came home and felt sorry for myself, cried, got angry with myself, got angry with the instructors, blamed everything and everyone but myself. I ended up having a moment of clarity later in the evening. The DON told me that she would welcome me back next year and that the spot was guaranteed. She let me know that I was one of the most kind and caring ppl she had met and that I would definately make a good nurse; the other instructor in the room agreed. Now, they could have been feeding me a line of doodoo to soften the blow, but I am choosing to believe them. In my heart I know without a doubt I was awesome with those patients at clinicals, and I enjoyed it so much. My problem...the bookwork. I understand their decision, and I think this is the best for me and for any of my future patients. I need to really be able to grasp every single concept they throw at us to be the best I can be. It hurts so much to not be able to graduate with the friends I have made, including my best friend but today is new day. I have already registered for a mid-winter class, and I will register for a full course load to finish the majority of my pre-reqs for the RN program. I will graciously except the spot they offered me in the LVN program for next year, and if it's God's will, I will be accepted to the RN program in the spring following graduation and graduate in December w/my ADN. This happened for a reason. I am not sure of the reason, but it is truly a life lesson.
I guess my point is this: to encourage anyone who did not make it through nursing school and feels discouraged. Don't wallow in self pity. Accept responsibility for your actions, or lack of responsibilty, dust yourself off, and try again. Come back more fierce and determined than ever. If you truly want to be a nurse, it is worth fighting for and giving it your all. Soo instead of all the :crying2: ....try :) :) :) . There's always hope, and another chance!!!!
Thank you for letting me share my feelings with all of you:)
Below is a pic from my last clinical day. We had a christmas party for all of the residents at the nursing home. I'm the goofy gal who thinks she's a reindeer:chuckle And the other 2 are my best friends(met them in school)
:crying2: