How do women really percieve us?

groovy jeff, RN · Dec 1, 2009

i agree with the op of the thread you responded to, that you had a good grasp of the problem and offered some of the most sound advice, well done!! however, most of us are limited in our views to our experiences and we tend to somehow find those of similar experience to hang with; ergo, some will always be tainted. i believe that many of the women that answered that thread felt that he was trying to hold her back; i am with you, i don't think so. perhaps they, or someone they are close to, have had that experience. i believe that very few of our female coworkers view us as bashers or control freaks, of course there will always be a few of our ranks that are that way, as well as women that feel we are all that way. i don't feel that the majority view us in a negative light.

always remember that no matter how you slice it, they are not on of us. they just a bunch of icky girls and they can't help it!! don't get to close or you will get cooties!

SilentMind · Dec 1, 2009

i agree with the op of the thread you responded to, that you had a good grasp of the problem and offered some of the most sound advice, well done!! however, most of us are limited in our views to our experiences and we tend to somehow find those of similar experience to hang with; ergo, some will always be tainted. i believe that many of the women that answered that thread felt that he was trying to hold her back; i am with you, i don't think so. perhaps they, or someone they are close to, have had that experience. i believe that very few of our female coworkers view us as bashers or control freaks, of course there will always be a few of our ranks that are that way, as well as women that feel we are all that way. i don't feel that the majority view us in a negative light.

always remember that no matter how you slice it, they are not on of us. they just a bunch of icky girls and they can't help it!! don't get to close or you will get cooties!

it's not even about bashing and controlling, it's the fact that this shadow is hanging over all of us, all the time. and if you do something even the slightest bit out of the ordinary, at the drop of the hat you're an abuser.

when i first considered nursing as a career, i actually wanted to do either prenatal care or l+d. i know, not exactly a males traditional role in nursing. but to me the birthing process is just fascinating...it's the single most incredible thing we're capable of physically as humans. and not to mention being able to play a more active part in the birth of my own children someday.

i've pretty much given up on that already. there's just too much potential to be perceived as inappropriate. even in regular care, i've seen threads in the mens forum mentioning how you should always have someone else in the room when you're providing care on a female patient, just to cover yourself. it just bothers me that women think that we're all possessed by the seed of evil, and the best of us will keep ourselves restrained, but that all of us are capable.

it's just disspiriting. things like this are seriously making me reconsider my future.

Sewbusy~RN · Dec 1, 2009

I had no idea this was a big problem, at least not in med surg. I can see that you might be perceived strangely in women's health areas, but not in M/S. I work with a few male nurses and I often wish there were more. Male nurses seem to be more objective, and are usually very helpful when I need someone to problem solve with. Also they help balance out the abundance of estrogen and associated issues there.

As for the post that was referenced in the OP, the poster you cited wrote "he says that he's not sure that he will be able to handle the close physical contact with other guys" and "he feels like it could affect his feelings of intimacy with me". I thought the guy sounded pretty insecure. In fact, it sounds like the guy thinks the girl is going to be turned on by her patients, which is not normal. Yes, red flag. Not necessarily that the guy is or will become abusive, but that the relationship doesn't sound all that healthy, and there seems to be a lack of trust. It shouldn't hold her back from the career she wants.

groovy jeff, RN · Dec 1, 2009

it's not even about bashing and controlling, it's the fact that this shadow is hanging over all of us, all the time. and if you do something even the slightest bit out of the ordinary, at the drop of the hat you're an abuser.

i guess i just don't feel or see the "shadow"; but there again, i am the eternal optimist. what others think of me is none of my business and i do my best not to let it bother me.

if you want to pursue l&d, then you should. i agree with you that producing life is the most amazing thing; my spiritual ancestors say that women are sacred in that they have this ability. for me however, my l&d clinical experience was the longest 6 days of my life! your a better man than me, bucko! :yeah:

as to the issue of working with female pts lies a conundrum. if i get bad vibes from a female pt, i do my best to be careful, i.e. switch off with someone else, take a female tech with me, etc. sometimes that is just the way of the world and i do my best not to take it personally.

watching the red green show always puts things in perspective for me. repeat the man's prayer after me: "i'm a man, and i can change, if i have to, maybe. amen." :jester:

SilentMind · Dec 1, 2009

if you want to pursue l&d, then you should. i agree with you that producing life is the most amazing thing; my spiritual ancestors say that women are sacred in that they have this ability. for me however, my l&d clinical experience was the longest 6 days of my life! your a better man than me, bucko!

i wouldn't go that far. i merely said i was interested in it. my fascination with the subject is fueled in large by the part that i've never actually had to witness the act firsthand. it may very well not be something i'm able to handle. but i'm okay with that.

as to the issue of working with female pts lies a conundrum. if i get bad vibes from a female pt, i do my best to be careful, i.e. switch off with someone else, take a female tech with me, etc. sometimes that is just the way of the world and i do my best not to take it personally.

watching the red green show always puts things in perspective for me. repeat the man's prayer after me: "i'm a man, and i can change, if i have to, maybe. amen."

i know there's always going to be issues with certain patients that are problematic. i guess i just found it disheartening that these were actual nurses with the same mindset.

also, whats the red green show? i don't think i've ever heard of it.

groovy jeff, RN · Dec 2, 2009

red green show is on pbs stations and it is a comedy set at a possum lodge. it is a great show that pokes fun at men.

you know we can only conjecture on what women think; we need to hear from some ladies. there are usually some lurkers that will comment and straighten us out.

fabiusgile · Dec 2, 2009

Groovy jeff your lucky my L&D was a whole semester... and I tried to crawl into the corner and hope no one saw me.