How nursing school changes me

[nursingishard]

After the psychological developmental regression period of the first year of nursing school, I feel like I'm gaining back my position as a young adult every day. I learn to speak up. I learn to accept hatred. I learn to accept how people would appear very nice in front of others but bad mouth others in the back. I learn how people would wrongly diagnose me. They just don't know that I've had so much stress in my transition from the cradle of childhood from a community college to the cold real world of nursing school from a far away place where I used to have so much fun. I learn to accept that I can do so much but I can't do everything. I have to reserve time for sleeping and meditation also. I learn to accept that people will hate me. I learn to accept that people can like me but they can't never be with me for my whole life. I learn to love my family. I learn to value what I have right now: I've gained 10 lbs since starting nursing school but I'm pretty short but I still see myself as the most complete entity I can ever have. And, if I have to leave this body one day, I will miss it a lot. I love my body. And, I learn to realize that people judge me from my past and their hugely wrong prejudice but they can't never have me. They can't. I own my body. I've learned to realize that people don't really do what they say they will. I've learned to accept that there are people who just dislike me but it's OK 'cuz they don't live my life. I'm alone with my own life. I've learned to resist fantasizing. I've learned to accept me with my physical inability of lifting huge patients. I just can't. I've learned to like myself and appreciate things I've done no matter how small it seems like. I appreciate my body.