How to be nice to yourself when you're in deep and feeling stupid

[RNcDreams]

Hello

This questions is directed at ER and pretty much all newbies:

We've all been there, when we get stuck with a patient in the ER who is for sure going to ICU, or on the floor, where your patient decompensates.

It seems to me that I will never know all of the drugs out there, and that I just can't move fast enough. Coupled with the fact that I still have 3 other patients to care for, it can become very overwhelming.

Of course, I ask for help, and make it clear that I am drowning. I almost always get that help.

Despite the fact that the patient generally gets to the ICU and almost everything gets done, I still feel badly when it's all over.

I can't shake that feeling of inadequacy. I know that learning stems from new situations where we have to step out of our comfort zone and give new drugs/try new procedures..... but it's just such a bad feeling.

What kind of self talk do you have going on? I always end up berating myself for not being more detail oriented, for not asking for just the right thing for the patient (other nurses who are experienced seem to know just what to suggest to the ICU docs...:imbar)

I understand this will come in time. I also understand that all I can do is my best, and that if the patient makes it to the ICU and is breathing and has a stable rhythm, with most meds given, I've done my job.

That being said, I hate hate hate that I'm not better in these situations... especially since my other patients are ignored as a result.

How do I let this go..... or is it NOT something I should let go??

Help, feeling bad about myself.

[deeDawntee, RN]

Wow, what a very honest thread! You should give yourself huge kudos for the profound self-knowledge you possess and the intense commitment you have to being an excellent nurse.

I wish I had a tried and true, no fail answer for you. I think what you are experiencing is very normal and something which definitely lessens a great deal with time and experience.

If I were you I would do my very best to stay humble. Don't TRY to know everything...be open and willing to learn. If you try to act like you always know what is going on, you will miss being teachable. I am not suggesting that you give up being competent and professional, but giving yourself permission to not have to know it all will give you a ton more freedom than you are experiencing right now. It is OK not to know!! You still are valid and valuable as a nurse.

I also strongly suggest visualization. Really see yourself as competent and able as I know that you already are. Watch that self-talk. Also, know who your allies are. Know who you can talk to and who you can run scenarios by. Ask other nurses what some of their most significant learning experiences were. Keep communicating, that will help immensely. Get that negative stuff out of your head as soon as you can. Keep a constant flow of self acceptance, forgiveness and be your own cheering section. I would strongly suggest a vision board. Recently, Oprah had a program about that and I did one! It has been very empowering! Google it and see what you think.

You can do it!! I can tell by your great post, you are a very special person and committed nurse. ;)