How much education should i logically get?

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Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I apologize in advance if I am not following protocol, I am new to the site, but definitely in need of advice.

5 years ago i started really researching nursing schools. After my kids were both off to school i started applying to the schools i had researched.

I started my CNA and working while getting my associates degree in liberal arts, paying close attention to make sure the courses i was taking would be transferable to a university. I graduated with a 3.48 and started applying to nursing schools.

I was thrilled when i was accepted. I started studying every thing i could to prepare for school. Unfortunately, i was then labeled "know it all" by my peers and criticized for answering questions or asking questions. My clinicals were in a rehab facility and went very well. My little clinical group was a good group and I had a tough, but nurturing instructor who really encouraged us and followed up on all our cares. So, i pushed on.

Then started second semester...total nightmare. The school i am in is basically pushing for a self taught course. Only online books. No lectures on campus. Our lectures are online and just an instructor reading a PowerPoint. When we come to class it feel like we are in elementary school doing "group activities" where we are drawing and putting bullet points on a piece of butcher paper and then "presenting" to the class (although we get so credit for these activities) We learn a skill (catheter insertion, IV insertion, etc) once and are expected to know it without further practice.

On top of that, i have an instructor that likes to publicly reprimand us and announce mistakes to our entire group (not in a cautionary way, but at lunch and laughing at us while half of us hang our heads). She calls us names and gives me extreme anxiety. My clinical rotation is in a hospital and very few of the nurses are friendly. There are constant eye rolls. People calling patients "pain in the ass" or "pill popper". We are told to go directly against hospital policy, etc. I don't want to elaborate further. Trust me. There is lots more.

Yes, i addressed this with the Dean of the nursing department and now i have been labeled "cry baby" by my peers (even though i am at least the 6th person to meet with the dean)

I am looking at the bitterness of the nurses around me and the anxiety of my peers. I have to think...is this what nursing is? If it is...i can't say i want to be a part of it. I adore being a CNA. I love being close with my residents and their families. I love helping others. But, logically, i cannot be a CNA forever. My body couldn't keep up with that. This is heart breaking to me, as my grampy wanted me to be a nurse SO bad during my time caring for him, and my aunt is a nurse, my sister is a nurse, etc.

So, i started to get scared. What happens if i get to the end of this program and fail? What happens if i just can't mentally take being with these people anymore? What happens if i hate nursing? I already know i don't want to work in a hospital. So what happens if i can't find a job in a clinic or office? A liberal arts degree isn't exactly a good safety net.

I decided to not continue at this particular school. My hope is that it is the school, not nursing. I don't want to waste more time in a program i hate at a school that I really do not want my name attached to. I have to apply to new schools, which won't start until next spring. In the mean time, i plan on taking a phlebotomy course. At the least, i will have a lab job to fall back on (yes, i am aware it does not pay a lot, but it would be easier on my body than a cna) in the event i am not accepted into a new school. Best case scenario, i am getting a lot of practicing sticking prior to starting a new program, which i am not getting right now in school.

But, here is my question to all of you nurses, student nurses, etc...if i do not want to work in a hospital...should i continue for an rn? My pride WANTS that degree, but i know i need to consider finances, physical help, mental health, etc. The only LPN options near me at 5 days a week, which I cannot do. There are very few MA programs and from what I understand that is pretty frowned down upon. CMA's in my state are not allowed to give injections. I feel very stuck.

Any advice is appreciated.

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Another thing to consider is that you are not getting younger. If the bug drives you crazy later on, you will be that much older. Decide to do it now if you think there is a chance this desire might obsess you in your later years.

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exactly. I am already 31. I am already one of the oldest in my current school. I also have OCD so making choices gnaws away at my brain with the "what if..." But, I have also heard horror stories about RN's being considered "over qualified" for work in a doc office.

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Over qualified just means the practice has to pay an RN more than an MA. That is why MA's came about to begin with.

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