How to be Assertive without sounding like a you-know-what

[SweetLemon]

I am the youngest nurse at my hospital and with just a few exceptions the youngest employee. For the most part I have been treated like nothing less then an equal with other nurses. When working with my support staff CNAs I am given a lot more grief because of my age and my less aggressive demeanor. I admit I already struggle with being assertive and with this being my first nursing job if I could do it all over again I would have done things a little differently.... but I work on what I can in the moment.

When asking CNAs to do duties that are normally assigned to them I get responses such as "is their no one else available to do that?" "I am kind of busy here". Now don't get me wrong if someone is in the middle of their work I don't expect them to jump up right away and do something just cause I ask but a little communication would be nice.

I also find working on night shift when things are quiet people often times occupy themselves with computer games and surfing the net. In all honestly it kinda bothers me, I realize some nights are slow but the truth is their is always something to do. With that said as long as everyones main duties are done I don't gripe. But so often their not and on a very constant basis I have to ask staff to do the tasks assigned to them or else they don't get done at all. I feel VERY RESENTFUL when this happens because it seriously makes me uncomfortable and they know it....

Oh and my favorite is when I ask someone to get vitals, they roll their eyes at me but obtain them (I am SORRY I interrupted your very important conversation on what happened on Lost the night before). Then they come back and hand them to me like I am suppose to chart them!!!

I have to admit some of the support staff I work with is incredible and I would do just about anything for them but sadly I am finding they are few and far between. How do I become more assertive without coming off like a you-know-what?

[Sparrowhawk]

How old are you? You can't let your age determine your assertiveness..people will walk alll over you. I'm the youngest nurse at our facility too, (23) and around the same age if not younger/older then the aides. I always try to phrase my requests with "I know you're busy but..." Or "When you get the chance ..." I'm rarely "Assertive" Unless there's something that's wrong. NOCS are slow... it is hard to be assertive and not sound like a you know what..I have problems with it too. I never tell the aides to do something, always phrase it as "Would you mind..." They may mind, but they still have to do it and we both know it.

If surfing the net and games are keeping them from their duties, it may be time for a write up..or at least inform your supervisor of what's going on...If you see them doing it..just ask "Is such and such done?" and that you would really rather them not do that and if it continues you'll take the appropriate measures.

I dunno..it is hard..I'm just learning it myself..I'm extremely blunt and can come across mean and bossy...so for me it's hard because of that. And some ppl just..don't want to have someone younger over them...I think it goes back to how you phrase it...bossy and assertive is a fine line and it's all in how you say it.

They may react to you the way they do because they know they can get by with it. Sorry this post doesn't make a lot of sense, I'mt ired and have to get into work -_-

Good luck!

[llg, PhD, RN]

Always be polite, but don't grovel or be apologetic for things that aren't your fault. Don't act as if they are doing you a personal favor by doing their jobs unless they really are going "above and beyond" to help you out. Simply ask them politely to do what you need them to do ... say thank you ... and don't make a big deal about it. If you act as if you think it is a big deal or that their demeanor has an effect on you, they may start to use that information to manipulate you.

Speak in short declaritive sentences. State the facts and your requests politely, in a brief and straightforward way. Expect a positive response and "ignore" the rolling of the eyes, etc. They'll eventually figure out that their hystrionics doesn't effect you.

I was 22 when I became a NICU charge nurse -- and became a CNS in a large NICU when I was 26. I also taught a course in an MSN program at 26 in which every one of my students had more clinical experience than I did. I know it can be difficult to appear secure when that is not how you feel inside, but it can be done. Just keep it simple and professional.