You know you work in Home Health if:

[betts]

You think an "oasis" is a new book.

You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

The company logo on your badge is drawn on a post-it note.

When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.

You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

You learn about your layoff on CNN.

Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

It's dark when you drive to and from work.

Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

"Communication" is something your group is having problems with.

You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.

Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.

Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in the hospital.

Art involves a white board.

You're already late on the assignment you just got.

You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"

Your boss's favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."

Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

Change is the norm.

Nepotism is encouraged.

The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

You read this entire list and understood it.

[tex]

Boy this is all so right. Worked in home care for 6 years, now work as a cordinator in a LTC setting. Night and day. No calls at night. Last minute admissions at 6P. No more hearing the other nurse has a stomach virus or just has to many visits, so could you do this visit in Hong Kong. No more competion with other velcro companies. Bonus? what is that? I thought they we all got >ed rates in Health insurance, you were lucky to have just a card. Sick, you can work with pneumonia. No more, you can do this visit, just call the police to let them know you don't need help. Oasis was meant to view things as a calm tropical paradise. Loved your phrases.................Tex

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

Too true. Tex glad you found something that makes you happy. In NJ, LTC Coordinators have more call time than any HH nurse does. They are constantly pulled to be staff, on weekends, holidays, and shifts worked, from what I have read in many posts here. Glad you found a good one, also glad I didn't work for your agency. I've been dumped on, but never that bad, and we only cover one county. I couldn't do it otherwise, too much time traveling!

[JennyHHRN]

That all sounds about right, but here's a few more!

--you know every public restroom within a 50mi radius

--you can eat, talk on your cell phone, and chart all while driving

--your car is stocked with enemas and foley kits (explain that one if a police officer does a vehicle search)

--members of the local senior center have nicknamed you the "death nurse"

[lisadavis]

ah home health nurses celebrate! we are lucky to have our jobs (or so my bosses keep tellng me.) i have been attacked by dogs, chased by pigs and had the road blocked by a cow. i've been stuck in a blizzard and a tornado. we won't even discuss how many cars i have driven to death. nursing school never prepared me for this. if i ever go back to work in a hospital i will take with me a whole new respect for those working out in the field!