I have been working on a med/surg floor for about 2 months now. My orientation will be over in a week and I am terrified! I dread going to work everyday. Some days are fine, but others I just want to run away. Lots of times I cry as soon as I get in my car to go home. I haven't made any mistakes really, but I sometimes think of things that I forgot to do once I get home and am afraid I'll get in trouble. It's never anything serious, just stupid little things. Anyway, I pretty much HATE my job. I usually have 5-7 patients and I just feel so overwhelmed! If everything runs smoothly I'm fine, but lots of times when things happen I just feel like I don't know what to do and when I'm off orientation I think the other nurses will get annoyed with my constant questions. And I just feel incompetent, like if a pt has something really wrong witht them I might not notice. I did really well in school and I actually have a B.A. in psychology as well as my RN. I know that this job is not for me. I went into nursing because I wanted to help people. I am more interested in the psychological aspect. I feel like I have NO time to spend with the patients and I hate that. I hate running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, never knowing what to expect, and only having enough time to give the pt their med and then run out of the room. I just know this is not what I want to do. I want to either go back to school for my master's in social work, or OT. I also think I might like home health because then I would actually have some time to TALK to the patient. I love people and I hate that if a pt is upset or trying to talk to me, I don't have time to stop and listen. Would it look completely horrible if I quit now? Would it make me look really bad to future employers? What's the shortest I can stay here without looking bad? I feel nauseated every day on my way to work and I just want to cry. please help! thank you!!!
Specializes in LTC, PCU, Med/Surg, Hospice, OBGYN.
I am currently orientating in my new job at a small hospital on Med/Surg. I know, I know...but it's somuch better than where I was. The nurse-to-patient ratio is still high (1:7), but the patients are not as acute as where I was before (cardiac/stepdown unit with 1:6 patient ratio). I feel so much better about myself as a nurse and I now look forward to going to work! I also now work in my home town so no more commuting. And to top it off I get paid more an hour and the benefits are lower in cost, so all in all it was the best move I made.
Yes, I still feel terrible about leaving the other place but I'm in the process of trying to go back PRN to work once in a while for a few years to "pay them back" for the opportunity they had given me. Maybe it's a stupid move, but I almost feel like I betrayed them in a way. I don't know, I'm still debating it. We'll see how it goes.
Whatever you do though, I hope you are as happy as me!*wine
UPDATE: I ended up quiting this full-time job too after only a few months. Due to a lot of staff turnover, nurse to patient ratio was getting too high on the floor and became unsafe. I was so fed up with not providing enough individual time to my patients due to having so much tasking work. So I am now currently working in Hospice and able to be a nurse and provide true nursing care for my patients (WHAT A CONCEPT!!!) It is such a fulfilling job and I feel like I actually make a difference. I always planned on going to Hospice but was hoping for more floor experience first, therefore, I continue to work on this Med/Surg floor on a prn basis. I hate going to my prn job but I grit my teeth and appreciate the continued learning experience and keep telling myself "I don't do this all the time, Thank God!!"
I am in the same boat as the original poster. I got off of orientation a little over a month ago and from the very first day after I was on the floor on my own literally everything has gone wrong. Where it stands today I am on PIP with a discipline in grievance step two. Every part of my being says get the heck out. Everyone in the hospital knows that the floor I am on is theee worst and most unsafe in the hospital. My co-workers hate me. I am the only BSN on the floor. I ask senior nurses questions and for help and I get totally shut out, which is how I wound up on the PIP and then my manager totally entrapped me for the write up I got which is bogus anyway. I honestly don't see how I can make the six month transfer mark.. my 90 days was Nov 16th. and frankly I am so burned out already from the lack of support, the high acuity, lack of staffing and the passive aggressive manager I have I couldn't even tell you when I would be eligible for transfer. I don't trust my co-workers at all. I can even go so far as to say... I think they have gone in and turned of one of my iv antibiotic drips. As God as my witness I stood there making sure it was dripping before I left. Only to find out three days later night shift reported it being closed off.
I really don't know what the right thing to do is at this point.
The hospital doesn't have a good reputation. I went there because of their catholic mission. Now I feel like God is punishing me.
EmilyLucille523
196 Posts
UPDATE: I ended up quiting this full-time job too after only a few months. Due to a lot of staff turnover, nurse to patient ratio was getting too high on the floor and became unsafe. I was so fed up with not providing enough individual time to my patients due to having so much tasking work. So I am now currently working in Hospice and able to be a nurse and provide true nursing care for my patients (WHAT A CONCEPT!!!) It is such a fulfilling job and I feel like I actually make a difference. I always planned on going to Hospice but was hoping for more floor experience first, therefore, I continue to work on this Med/Surg floor on a prn basis. I hate going to my prn job but I grit my teeth and appreciate the continued learning experience and keep telling myself "I don't do this all the time, Thank God!!"