Help Needed on New Graduate Summary Statement!

[nikipt]

I currently am working on my linkedin profile's "summary statement" and am in need of assistance. Depending on what format (mobile or website) the potential nurse managers and/or nurse recruiters look at, I have a very limited amount of words to grab the attention of my prospective employer (~200 word max). I am struggling with 1) the wording of my last sentence, 2) feel like the wording for my first objective doesn't flow well, and 3) can't decide what three best buzzword/phrases to use when describing an "experienced nurse". I have underlined the part of the sumary I need advice on.

Here is what I have so far:

I am a prospective BSN,

RN

graduate from XXXX seeking a new graduate residency program and/or an entry level nursing position. My two personal objectives are

to continue building upon fundamental nursing skills learned at University

and to be shaped into an experienced nurse who is

___, ___, and ____.

Furthermore, my personal qualities ___, ___, and ____ as evidenced by strong recommendations from past clinical instructors and nursing mentors

leads me to be confident in the possibility of becoming a worthy contributor to your healthcare team

.

In regards to the last sentence, I previously had it saying " ... Leads me to be confident in my ability to become an instant contributor to your healthcare team". Is that too presumptuous as a new graduate nurse? I want to sound confident but not cocky. The version I have currently is more toned down, though I feel its not as impactful as the latter mentioned sentence.

As for the buzzwords/phrases, I could think of so many things to describe a role-model experienced nurse (e.g. compassionate, goal-oriented, team driven, well versed in up to date evidence based practice, etc.). What other good buzzword/phrases could be used? Which do you believe are the top 3 qualities?

I plan on incorporating some of this into my cover letters as well so your help is a two-for-one. Thanks for reading my spiel and help is much appreciated!

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

Try the following:

"I am a prospective BSN RN graduate from XXXX seeking a new graduate residency program or an entry-level RN position. I seek to continue building upon fundamental nursing skills and to be shaped into an experienced nurse who is ___, ___, and ____. I am confident in becoming a worthy contributor to your healthcare team based on ___, ___, ___ and the strong recommendations from past clinical instructors and nursing mentors."

[nikipt]

Try the following:

"I am a prospective BSN RN graduate from XXXX seeking a new graduate residency program or an entry-level RN position. I seek to continue building upon fundamental nursing skills and to be shaped into an experienced nurse who is ___, ___, and ____. I am confident in becoming a worthy contributor to your healthcare team based on ___, ___, ___ and the strong recommendations from past clinical instructors and nursing mentors."

Thank you for the edits! I've incorporated your advice into my summary. Additionally, I decided to switch it to third person perspective and add in some blanks. How does this new version sound? Do the "qualities" i posses seem marketable to recruiters or do you believe there is a more valuable characteristics I should list instead?

XXXX XXXXX is a prospective BSN,

RN

graduate from XXXXX pursuing a new graduate residency program or an entry-level

RN

position. She seeks to continue building upon fundamental nursing skills and to be shaped into an experience nurse who is/embodies ____, ____, and ____. She is an energetic, empathetic, and genuine individual who aims to work in partnership with patients as they reach their optimum health goals. She is confident in becoming a worthy contributor to your healthcare team based on her ability to adapt to new environments (Lived abroad in XXXX and XXXXX),

her ability to be coachable”

, and her strong recommendations from past clinical instructors and nursing mentors.

The underlined phrase I feel like can also be phrased a little better but am currently drawing blanks.

[EDNURSE20, BSN]

Def would change the third person way of writting. Makes no sense as to why you would do this.

I would be careful about using buzzwords, anyone can write that they are this and this, you need to show that you are that with out staying that you are. For example instead of saying you are a team player, say something about how youve work in a team to achieve this. Shows your a team player, but you never said the buzzword that employers often skim over and don't really think much about.

I would try include you philosophy of nursing and showing passion towards the nursing. Tell them why you become a nurse, what it is that your passionate about, what nursing means to you. Everyone know that your looking for a new grad position, it's obvious. Don't waste words saying that. What is it your actually wanting and why? Peds? Med surg? OB? Icu? Er? Or? Seeing someone real interest is what they'll notice, not a bland cover letter they've seen 1000s of times that could be used by any new grad nurse.

[pmabraham, BSN, RN]

I agree with Nzrnsoontobe; the 3rd person switch makes no sense whatsoever.

[nikipt]

Great advice! I'll make the switch from 3rd to 1st again. I had friend who recently got an RN job tell me that she wrote her's in 3rd person so I had switched it thinking that was what was expected. This is my new version:

I am a prospective BSN,

RN

graduate from The University of Texas at Austin pursuing a new graduate residency program in the Emergency Department or an entry-level

RN

position. My anticipated graduation date is December 2017. I am an energetic, empathetic, and genuine individual who aims to work in partnership with patients as they reach their optimum health goals. I am confident in becoming a worthy contributor to your healthcare team based on my aptitude to adapt to new environments and situations (lived abroad in the UK and Vietnam), my ability to be coachable”, and strong recommendations from past clinical instructors and nursing mentors.

My avid interest in Emergency Medicine stems from my faith in Benner's Novice to Expert Theory” where it is believed that experience in the clinical setting is fundamental to nursing because it allows nurses to continuously provide holistic and competent patient care. I am best apt to be a lifelong learner in the ED where I am exposed to a variety experiences.

During my time at UT Austin, I joined a previously established interprofessional team comprising of other healthcare students in training. When tasked with a simulation model of disclosing a medical error to a patient's daughter, my team received accolades for reaching an outcome where the patient's needs were met. We reached this outcome by communicating the team plan prior to patient family contact, by understanding which professional's scope of practice was best equipped to address patient/family concerns, and by collaborating on the future plan of care. I also worked with an attending physician and her residents to provide constructive criticism from a nursing” perspective to improve the resident's communication with adolescent patients.

The third paragraph I will include in future cover letters and somehow tie it into the mission statements of whichever hospitals i'm applying for. Would it be too wordy if I included one more highlight from my nursing education? What word count limit would you recommend for cover letters?

[EDNURSE20, BSN]

Cover letter is one page. Around 350 words.

Focus more on clinicals than simulations. Keep it simple and concise, it's all a bit wordy at the monment