Help Me Love My Job again in the ER/ED!

[toniasday7, ADN, BSN, RN]

Hello, I just have a quick question and this probably is more of an outlet anyways for me, probably one of my only safe outlets where I can talk to people and (hopefully) not be judged.

How can I get my love back for the ER???

It's not like I've been doing it forever! I'm only going on my second year there! (nurse for 4 years)I have no problems with my co-workers for the most part, except the usual difference in personalities (ALL Women) the usual crap that goes with working with too many chiefs and not enough Indians kind of thing. I lately have been dealing with a lot of stress at home with my husbands health and now he's unemployed which isn't helping matters. I used to go to work excited, well ok not excited but it didn't bother me going there in other words until recently...I cringe at the thought of all the bickering amongst the coworkers and disagreements and the people/patients/families that are "abusing the system" and proud of this, and now I find myself mentally and physically exhausted. I've gained 10 lbs. in 2 months! I feel like I'm losing my confidence and self worth. I am constantly thinking I have done something wrong even though I have not! A friend/Coworker had made a mistake and for some reason I was trying to find a reason that it was my fault (It wasn't). My boss is very complimenting and makes me feel appreciated. I feel like I'm literally turning stupid, I go blank! I noticed also that when I would go into work all happy to be there, stupid me...It ****** off my coworkers it seemed. I mean I never went in like a know it all, or a blazing ray of sunshine, just came in being myself.. I started to feel like I was supposed to be sucked into misery, and now that my confidence is down, I think I am there. I really think it's just me being to hard on myself. If anyone would like to share a similar story with me or any words of wisdom I would really appreciate it! Sorry for the rant.

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

I think there are many layers to this. I can't pinpoint one particular thing that I think is contributing to your distress.

Your home life. This impacts every other area of your life, and it sounds to me like maybe you need some support in coping with this. A best friend, a counselor, or if you're a spiritual person, a member of the clergy may be helpful to you. For me, my home is my sanctuary and when things aren't right there, then things aren't right anywhere. So deal with that first and foremost by accessing what help you can.

Your work environment. It sounds to me like there is low morale amongst the ranks there. Coming in with a chipper attitude can be irritating to those around you who are struggling with very real concerns like poor working conditions, understaffing, lack of breaks, patient satisfaction at the expense of patient safety, etc etc. Yet at the same time, it's really crucial to your own sanity to not let yourself get bogged down in the negativity. So how do you balance that? First, just put your your head down, nose to the grindstone, and do what needs to be done. You are there to do a job, so just do it. Pull up those hip waders and wade right in. Second, lead by example. Don't get mired down in negativity- just do what you're there to do, offer to help others out when you can, and for Pete's dake, take your breaks and encourage others to do so!

Lastly, your internalizing of all of this stress. You are taking on things that aren't yours to take on. I suggest you buy yourself one of the "That's Not My...[Frog, Monkey, Penguin, etc]" books. They are for children, yet the message can be helpful for those of us that tend to personalize things that aren't really our responsibility.

[toniasday7, ADN, BSN, RN]

Thank you stargazer your message makes a lot of sense to me thank you for taki ng the time to respond. Another perspective seems to help

[PerfectlyNumb]

Personal life can take a toll on you, as well as simply working in the ER. I say take a few days off, get a massage, go out with some friends and enjoy a good dinner and some drinks. Go to the lake, the beach, wherever you can clear your mind. You may go back to work feeling better and coping better. It's a tough job and often leaves us emotionally drained. I find it hard to find a balance of home and work life myself....I too need a vacation :)