Ha ha ha!! Doctor vs. Lawyer :)

[phoenixrn]

Apparently this is from real court testimony: http://www.rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml

• Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  
• Witness: "No."
  
• Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  
• Witness: "No."
  
• Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  
• Witness: "No."
  
• Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  
• Witness: "No."
  
• Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  
• Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  
• Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  
• Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
  

[Chico David, BSN, RN]

So I'll just reply with one of my favorite doctor jokes:

A US senator dies and finds himself in front of the gates of heaven. St Peter examines his great book and says:

"Well, we have very few politicians up here, but you've been exceptionally honest and served your constituents well. I think we'll let you in. It'll take a little while to get your robe and wings ready, why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get something to eat?"

The senator goes to the heavenly cafeteria and sees a bit of a line. Accustomed to special treatment at home, he goes to the front of the line. An angel appears and tells him:

"Senator, no matter who you were "down there", up here we are all alike - you need to wait with everyone else. The senator sees the wisdom of this and goes quietly to the end of the line. A few minutes later a guy in a white coat with a stethescope around his neck cruises in, goes to the front of the line, grabs what he wants and heads out the door.

The angel is still nearby, so the senator turns to him and says:

"Hey, what about that guy - you said we were all the same here"

"Ah, Senator, you don't understand - that's God; sometimes he thinks he's a doctor"

[Chico David, BSN, RN]

And another:

Doctor taking history on a young female patient.

Doctor: "Are you sexually active?"

Patient: "No, mostly I just lie there"

[REGISTEREDNUTCASE]

lol....too funny