Going through a divorce. Any divorced nurses out there seeking advice & feedback.

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Hi, little background. My ex and I have split. We have one child together. We are both nurses. We both work 12 hour shifts. Ex works days I work nights (fingers crossed days by the Fall at the latest).

We have no set schedule with work. With an asterisk have self-scheduling on my floor but possibly transitioning over to an AI generated scheduling system with 4 guaranteed days off. My ex is guaranteed 4 days off in a 6 week block. My ex won't know her schedule till mine is closed. So imagine the headache trying to set up a consistent custody schedule.

Then my ex and I have shift preferences. Ex only likes working her 4 weekend shifts. I like to work 3 nights in a row be done with work.

Think there is a solution to make it work?

Was thinking Sunday through Tuesday for my ex and Thursday through Saturday for me. Then pick up and drop off every Wednesday. Could do 7 and 7 we have a toddler I don't know how they be good for their well-being. Would guarantee 4 days a week with our child. Childcare is not an issue at any day or time of the week. One parent could have the child Friday. Have a weekend with our child. Work two days Monday through Friday. Drop them off Thursday evening or Friday morning. Then work SSu.

The other option is we each have a mininum of 14 days a month and maximum of 16 days a month. If other parent goes below the mininum the other parent gives other parent an extra day. If the other parent has 17 days gives the parent a day. With uardrails in place where Wednesday is exchange day and try to work those 3 days in a row.

Any advice or feedback on what to do???

The other idea do have is a schedule of...

My ex work Sunday through Wednesday the first week. Then off Wednesday/Thursday to Wednesday.

Then I work in week 1 Wednesday/Thursday to next Wednesday.

Week starts Wednesday to Wednesday. Be the easiest way to balance a fair schedule. Also, cause one of us to be 7 days away from a young child that could be problematic.

The other problem is would have to group the two weeks into three blocks. There would be one block not guaranteed to be off the weekend.

kbrn2002, ADN, RN

3,819 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

Where do you both work that neither one of you is required to work  every other weekend plus you can both set your own schedule and have it be consistent? That sounds fairly unlikely that you both have employers that allow this.

If by some chance you both have unicorn jobs that allow self scheduling to that extent and you both agree that schedule works for all involved, including your co-workers that would have to arrange their schedules around your rather inflexible ones then by all means set your schedules the way it works for both of you.

kbrn2002 said:

Where do you both work that neither one of you is required to work  every other weekend plus you can both set your own schedule and have it be consistent? That sounds fairly unlikely that you both have employers that allow this.

If by some chance you both have unicorn jobs that allow self scheduling to that extent and you both agree that schedule works for all involved, including your co-workers that would have to arrange their schedules around your rather inflexible ones then by all means set your schedules the way it works for both of you.

Use to have that not any more. Not sure what I am going to do. Have 2 set weekend shifts have to work now. Have 18 preferred days can work. 18 neutral days that if a preferred shift is filled can move me to that shift. In that 6 week period have 6 days can have guaranteed off.

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