Social help, not fitting in

Nursing Students General Students

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Hello, I feel a little silly writing this but I guess I really need some feedback from people that have been there and done that. I have just finished my second week of nursing school. I know it is still early but I am feeling a little out of place. It seems that most of my classmates have paired or grouped up and "cliques" are forming. There are a few people that I am friendly with but it seems like I am always getting left out. For instance, my first group project, the other ladies will schedule meeting times to organize our presentation and I will always be the last to know. Either, one lady will let me know after the fact, or I will have to ask.

Also, I have found that I am also usually sort of left alone. I have tried to go up to groups and be friendly and conversate. They will talk to me then but no one really approaches me or tried to be my "friend". One example of that would be yesterday I approached a group to talk about our check offs and they were friendly and talkative with me; but I went to the restroom for just a couple of minutes and when I came back and they were all gone lol. Now, I know I am not there to make friends nor is that my main goal. In fact I really don't have time to have serious friendships outside of school because I am so busy with my family. But, it is making me feel very low about myself and that something is potentially wrong with me.

I am of average height and weight and do not think there is anything physically off putting about my looks either good or bad. I have good hygiene. I am 29 and am married with a family but most of the students are my age or a little older. I try to smile and be friendly. I have even gone out of my way to be friendly to some of the girls but I don't get much back in return. The last few days I have given up and decided to eat lunch alone and study. This ended up paying off for me because I made an A on my first test but I am still feeling like a social pariah and this is honestly making me feel very anxious (which could be contributing to the problem). I have heard that you need friends to make it through nursing school. Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated :)

May I also recommend migrating toward the older people in the class? I my past, I have found that the older ones tend to be less cliquey and way more interesting :)

Cliques are in society. Most of the time, you will not avoid them. Personally I think it's ridiculous that grown people act that way, but ya know unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world. I have friends, but not an abundance of them

are in my nursing class. I'm not involved in "sororities", so I don't generally hang with those people which makes up a large group. I don't think they are being rude they just cling to each other because their hobbies are all the same. I've learned that you to go to school and worry about your education and don't worry about making all these friends. You will probably never see these people again or maybe you will. I just wouldn't worry with it!! I have my friends that have been around long before nursing school and those are the ones that truly matter and stick by you

I did go to nursing school a while back and I had a hard time fitting in too. I am glad to hear that I am not alone because I felt very self conscious about this. I was starting to think maybe I was socially awkward or retarded lol but now I am starting nursing school again and hope I fit in more with people this time. I am going to a nursing school that is more in the country but I am still kinda nervous too:/I think some people at my other nursing school did have a eat their young attitude, but maybe I perceived them wrong... But I will take the advice mentioned on here and just be me and ill try not to worry about what other people think of me:)

(((((HUGS)))))) You seem to have a tone of great comments (sorry, didn't read them all). I just want to add that you will be thankful you had the extra study time. I am really social and have a serious problem with getting distracted by people. Also, for some reason, people tend to feel the need to word vomit all their problems and negatively to me. Due to my genuine care for everyone, I tend to listen and try to give advice. Then, there went my study time down the drain. I ended up with a B in micro because I couldn't just tell people to leave me alone. This coming semester I will not know anyone (transferred schools and states) and I plan to just keep to myself as much as possible.

Hang in there!! Keep studying bc that is what matters. As you do make friends, they will most likely be true friends and not friendly on a superficial level. That is worth way more than friendly acquaintances.

Are you in nursing school to socialize, or are you in nursing school to become a nurse. You said that making friends isn't really a high priority. So what's wrong with being friendly, professional, undistracted and (before you know it) successfully done with school and a million miles away from your classmates and off doing what you want to do?

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