On Vocal Discourse

  1. Do not speak loudly with thy neighbor or study mate within the Library; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you find a troubling idea foisted upon your eyes between the bindings of a book, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not; only remonstrate gently with a knowing nod, that you may correct the fault of the author in your own essay.

    Likewise, if you find your mind wandering from the soulfulness of your studies, again I say, refrain from conversing with whoever be at hand so that others might not be so distracted.

    Play not the electronic gadgets fitted to your ears at such a volume as to cause others to march to your drum machine.

    Though the need will eventually arise that you must give in to your ignorance of a matter bibliographic and throw yourself prostrate to the all knowing ones behind the Great Oaken Desk in the Campbell Reference Center, wail not dispairingly nor gnash the teeth loudly, for the sound carries great and far in that part of the Library, and then many of your peers will know of your misfortune; behold, I whisper myself, yet do not die.
    Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

    Attempt not to repair broken word carriers with your own tape, for these are matters better left to our specialists.

    Forget not that to steal is one of the original sins, and you will be punished woefully, if not now then in the fullness of time.

    Although the Library's computers are capable of seeing many wondrous sites in the World, look not upon the lascivious or unscholarly among them, nor print endless reams of things of which those who pay your bills would not approve.
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  3. by   USA987
    Thanks for posting this. A few weeks ago I was sitting in the library's quiet area and there was only one other person sitting in there with me. She was CHEWING HER GUM soooo loudly that I had to get up and move.

    Made me crazy....