Need a reminder why I'm doing this!!

  1. I've just had one of the worst days of my life. I'm an ADN student in my last semester and today I had my final clinical exam. It was horrible!!!! I sincerely doubt that I passed. I need a reminder why I'm putting myself through this hell!!!! If I had one more semester to go I don't think I could do this. I'm so tired of the nursing instructors that can't teach, tests that are designed to trick you (no, I'm not paranoid, the instructors actually told us that they get rid of the questions everyone gets correct, they don't want all of us getting A's, and I lead the class with a, get this 89.5% and I have a overall GPA of 3.81 after 106 semester hours!) being told that the nursing instructors are not there to accommodate the students, and basically feeling that these vultures are just waiting to pick me off. The kicker is that every single one of my fellow class mates feels the same way. Don't get me wrong, I know that nursing is a high stress field, and please believe me when I say that I I can handle stress alright. Today though was the icing on the cake. I'm being evaluated by an instructor I've never met and who's never met me, on an oncology unit thats basically a unit that cares for all the patients who are near death and with tubes coming out of every orifice. I now know all the hospice nurses by first name (god bless those nurses, they're fantastic!) and I have had a good semester so far. I've gotten to actually do all those skills we learned in lab a year ago. But today was to much. My patients were total care all the way. I'm talking TPN, lipids, central lines, NG tubes and enough medications to fill a PDR. I've never pushed 100mg lasix through a central line before, I pushed more meds and hung more solu-sets than I have almost all semester. Add to this a wife who took one look at my student uniform and refused to even let me in the room!!! I had to get report (not a mean feat in itself) do total AM care without help, adminster meds on time, get patients ready for transport for tests while fighting with the unit clerk and regular nurse to get my charting done and make sure my evaluator gets to see what I chart and tell me all the things I've done wrong in my charting, and come up this 2 nursing diagnosis per patient, plus interventions, goals and supporting documentation (all the while being harrassed by my evaluator, a messed up IV pump and a very anxious and frightened wife) all within 4 hour period. Needless to say I've been bawling since noon. Can someone please tell me again why I'm doing this??
    Sorry to sound so whinny but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest and to hear back that it'll get better.
  2. Visit tariet profile page

    About tariet

    Joined: Jul '01; Posts: 31; Likes: 2
    OR nurse tech


  3. by   lvnmom
    Your day sounds a lot like mine today!Hang in there,I too graduate in one month and fell like the biggest idiot..All those simple things we learned in the lab,I haven't done in forever and then today I blew my IV,then had to drop a NG tube in a former nurse and watch her cry as I do this.Then I have my instructor telling me that I need to toughen up and can't let my patients get to me............Am I not a good nurse because I care too much??That dosen't make sense to me at all.That is why I went into it in the first place.She also said I lack confidence in myself,dosen't that too come with time and practice?Well sorry to ramble on,hope you have a better day tomm-and me too!!
  4. by   tariet
    Thanks Ivnmom, it's sometimes nice to know that others are with me in this. Something about misery loves company and the end of a long road. I don't know about you but I do much better without an instructor hanging over my shoulder. I also have been accused of "caring to much" whatever that is. Personally I believe it makes my practice richer and my patients better. We just need to keep reminding ourselves 1 more month. Hope your day goes better, I know mine can't get to much worse (knocking really hard on wood here).
  5. by   GPatty
    You hang in there... you are going to be a wonderful nurse! Don't lose sight of that! Every day will NOT be like this one, and you will learn some things as you go! Take a deep breath, and know we are all behind you in this!
    God Bless YOU~
  6. by   lvnmom
    Today was sooo much better-I had to drop another NG tube in the same patient and it went perfect no problems and then I got her IV and another so I am floating on cloud nine right now-Hang in there,we're almost there
  7. by   tariet
    Thanks Julielpn.
    I needed to hear that Everyday is a learning experience be it a good day or bad. Just had a real bad one but I'm prefering to think that means I've a really great one coming. Thanks for the support.

    Glad to hear your day went well!! Yeah for you! Those NG's do get easier with practice. I also recently had my first one and I think I was more upset that the patient. Having your first one with a former nurse must have been a nighmare. Having to do it again the next day..yikes..
    Glad it went well for both you and the patient.
    I also had a better day. I got a note from one of the instructors about my clinical final that said, you passed.... I'm pretty sure... like 98% sure. Nice of her to try to reassure me. God forbid they come out and let me know ahead of time. I guess not all of them are monsters. Still it made me feel better, but I'll feel much better Thur afternoon when I get the call from my regular instructor telling me it's official. It's going to be so nice to have some of the stress from school gone. I don't know about you all but I can almost breath again and the air is sweet!! Thanks for all your support!!
  8. by   lvnmom
    Let us know how your call from the instructor went..Take care
  9. by   tariet
    I PASSED !!!!!!!!

    I JUST got the call. I've spent the day tearing my house apart to get at the 2 year old dust thats accumulated, just waiting for the phone to ring. AND I PASSED!!! (Gee can you tell I'm just alittle bit relieved!) I swear this final clinical exam had me more worked up than the idea of taking boards!! The rest is down hill (hopefully that is, I still have a 2 week preceptorship to do). Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support. This has been 3 days that I never want to have to repeat. Good luck to you all in your finals, we're almost there!!
    Gleefully yours, Tariet
  10. by   lvnmom
    Congratulations!!!Way to go!!
  11. by   jmspeach
    Hi everyone! I'm new here. I wish I was as far along as some of you. I am Just starting my NA course this coming Monday. It runs 3-1/2 weeks and then I can take my state exam. Which I'm pretty sure I can do this no problem, I have been studying the book for the course since September when I was still on Maternity leave.
    After this I start my pre-req classes for the RN degree at a local community college. I will only be going part-time since I work full time and have a little one to take care of too. So it will take me much longer. Hopefully I can go through summer to help it move along. I just know after reading some of these posts that I have a long road ahead of me. But hopefully I can stick with this. I hope to continue to go on and get my BSN. My goal is to work in the L&D unit at a local Hospital. After talking to them a little. They definately suggested getting my BSN if I want to do Family Birthing. So here I go.....starting Monday.

    Please give me any advice if you have any. I'm just looking for some reassurance and support. You all sound so nice!!

  12. by   lvnmom
    All good things take time,keep that in mind..I don't know what religion etc you practice but I can tell you that I needed God more than anything!!
  13. by   tariet
    You've taken the first steps toward a great goal! Just remember to let nothing stand in your way to achieving it. Know your support systems and take advantage of them when you need to. Good luck to you and let us know how your doing.
  14. by   seven
    beats me why you are doing it....i can't even remember why i fact i think i'm not....