You, too, could be entitled to a settlement!!! (More whacked out humor)

  1. Well, I'm at it again...I was recently attempting to start an IV on a patient. The TV in the room was tuned in to that font of intellectual stimulation, Jerry Springer. Both parties in the room (neither of which appeared likely to clutter up the race for the Nobel prize anytime soon) were watching avidly. During the commercial break, not one but FOUR ads came on with content similar to the following:

    Organ/cathedral or rousing patriotic music plays in the background (take your pick). A noble, baritone voice speaks portentious words from an echo chamber:

    The VOICE: "Were you born after the year of 1890? Have you EVER been in an automobile or work-related accident? Do you take any prescription or over-the-counter medication? Have you ever had any illness requiring medical or surgical treatment? If so, you may have suffered subtle, difficult-to-detect injuries that may not surface for sixty to eighty years, but still entitle you to HUGE settlements! Barnabas T. Snagglebutt and his associates have a providen track record for winning vast sums of money for poverty-stricken little people against heartless corporations. Just recently, he settled a case for $1.2 million against the Super-duper copy company when Ms. Hermingard Voight caught her left breast in the office copy machine as she was making a photocopy of her anatomy to submit to a Beautiful Boobs contest. YOU could be next. Contact Barnabas T. Snagglebutt today for your free consultation and learn what personal injuries may have taken place in YOUR past. Mr. Snagglebutt attends church every Sunday, volunteers in his local soup kitchen, loves his country, hates Osama Bin Laden, and donates $1.00 out of every successful claim to cancer research."

    These ads generally features videotape of Mr. Snagglebutt, his silver hair immaculately combed and wearing a $1000 suit, striking one of those poses that allow the viewer to simultaneously admire the firm line of his jaw and assess his need for nasal clippers. Interspersed may be pictures of Mr. Snagglebutt playing with his grandchildren, shaking hands with the Pope, helping a little old lady across the street, sitting in a church pew, or carrying the flag in a parade.

    And the people watching this are already in a HOSPITAL!!!! Does anyone else find this, shall we say, "ironic"??? JeannieM
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  3. by   Jenny P
    I guess I don't watch Jerry Springer, because I've never seen this commercial before. I would hate to see my pts. watching such drivil at work-- thank goodness my pts. are normally too sedated or ill to watch something like that.
  4. by   JeannieM
    Hi, Jenny P. Actually, I've never watched Jerry Springer in my life either, and of course I was doing one of my rather eccentric, exaggerated (but not too much) "composites" of the commericials that were on. Like you, I'm an ICU nurse and I agree; it helps that they're too sick to watch TV (or call a lawyer!).
    Leave me my whacky humor; it helps me cope :kiss
  5. by   Jenny P
    I guess the only weird lawyer commercials I see have to do with this woman lawyer who hs this head of hair that always makes me think of the 70's granola girls-- long, curly, frizzy, and bushy! She keeps saying she can get your back taxes reduced to just pennies on the dollar-- I keep thinking "get a hairdresser! LOL!!

    (yes I'm still up; I work nights and I don't go to bed at normal times even on my nights off!)
  6. by   LVNurse
    thanks for the laugh!
    our ER just installed tv's in the exam rooms, I've often heard similar(if not quite so humorous)ads.
    the one I have disliked most is the one where a 'concerned' female lawyer is depicted, asking "Is your child slow?" "It could be the result of medical negligence"...eeek!
    Interesting Jeannie. I was going to start a similar thread myself! Thank you!

    My area is flodded with these commercials. I try to ignore them, but there was on in particular that caught my attention the other day. The closing statement was

    "If your doctor or other health care professional ignored the large size of your baby, and now your baby suffers nerve damage, call......"

    Really does a great job of getting people to trust their health care professionals, huh?

    I wonder if putting a stop to crap like this could help our image any.

    Last edit by OBNURSEHEATHER on Aug 19, '02
  8. by   boggle
    Daytime TV around here is full of lawyer commercials pretty darn close to what you described!! Many of the commercials are encouraging people to sue rather than accept insurance compensation for any damage or injury.

    The belief that problems are always someone elses fault is shouted out loud and clear in these ads. (Not a hint of personal responsibility). These lawyers also prey on the greedy and poor..." that insurance company wanted to settle for $50,000, but Sam got me 1/4 million$$$".

    Mom used to say "sometimes accidents are just accidents, they are nobody's fault."

    There are plenty of justifiable lawsuits but this is gettiing out of hand.

    Oh dear, I'm ranting and raving again. .....

    (..........Say..........this BB didn't post a warning that readers might get aggravated .......I could call Sam and get compensated .....:
    Hey boggle, where are you? I only ask because a prominent ambulance chaser in my area is named Sam _____, and the slogan is "Call Sam!"

  10. by   JeannieM
    Heather, I'm sure that as each baby is popped out, you personally are required to stamp its little bum with "100% Guaranteed Supermodel Genius or your Money Back!" regardless of prenatal care, substance abuse history or gene pool. I don't know how you pregger-people do it!
  11. by   boggle
    Hi Heather, I'm just north of you a few hours in Michigan.

    It's probably the same Sam. We also hear a lot about calling "Lee Free". But Lee's ads don't annoy me so much. They often are such silly testimonial/ re-enactments that I swear they lifted them from Saturday Night Live!

    What a way to make a living
  12. by   Mkue
    Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
    Hey boggle, where are you? I only ask because a prominent ambulance chaser in my area is named Sam _____, and the slogan is "Call Sam!"

    Oh Yes, I've seen his