Time To Move On And Find More Hearts

I can't get cardiac out of my head; it was not just a job, it was a passion for me. I think it's time for a job hunt. If you don't like your job eventually you will start hating your life. I used to love my life because of my job. it's high time to follow my heart, to find a job where I can help fix other people's hearts. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

Time To Move On And Find More Hearts

I started my nursing life and the first time that I got to enter the operation theatre department was because of cardiac. I started my basic from there. I never thought I could learn the names of all those instruments. I used to remember them but the shape and sizes, I tried to memorize the steps for the surgeries by writing it down every day and ended up with 10 to 20 notes for a single surgery.

I thought I would never be able to make it in here. But every time I saw my seniors assist a case, hand instruments to the surgeon, scrub for different cases I was amazed. I want to be like them, I will be like them, strong and confident and not scared of the ugliest wounds one could see. Despite all the odds I still stood my ground because I started to like my job, I don't remember when I started loving my job so much that I did everything to learn and become a cardiac scrub nurse. I started liking the sound of that " cardiac nurse ".

And then came the day where I was in charge of my juniors. When I saw the shy and scared students I remembered my days. I wanted to help them and I did everything I could. My surgeon used to say "you need to train someone to take your place only then can you leave your place and take a step forward without worrying or looking back". From a fresher to a trainee to a circulating nurse, then a scrub, and assistant and an in charge. This was my journey. 7 years of my dedication and hard work paid off. I kept on moving and taking a step forward.

I wanted to learn more so I decided to go overseas....

But I made a mistake. Leaving my theatre, my team, my country for a new job which I had no idea would be like this. I ended up in the wrong theatre. I said it's good to learn new things, but for that why do I have to give up on the old things especially if I loved it so much. I tried really hard to adjust but I guess I can't get cardiac out of my head.

I loved the long cases, the hearts that we brought back to beating, the valves and the rings, the tubings that clearly shows the difference between aortic and venous blood, the grafts. What I equally loved was the vascular cases that came along the trauma cases. it was something new every time, a challenge every time. How much I miss those days, where I spend 18 to 20 hours a day in my theatre, and still I loved my life because I loved my job. I used to joke around saying I was few of the lucky ones who actually works with a beating heart on valentines day. For 7 years I never missed a single on call, that was my record.

Cardiac taught me what a team means and how important it is to have a good team where you have each other's back. I miss those days where the entire team used to sleep in that small lounge because we finished late and had to start again early in the morning. The days we finish early was considered like a get-together.

I used to think that theatre is all about teamwork. But it's different here. People don't have that passion for work and no feeling for the team. They just come and fill the time, do what they have to and leave. Is this the same everywhere? Was I wrong all this time? I don't know. Everything that I believed in is gone. Looks like I have entered a new world. I have gone back in time and am standing where I used to when I started my career. From an in charge, I am now a fresher in general surgery, where I am being taught to paint and drape a patient, set a trolley, names of instruments, how to count swabs... Looks like I took the wrong step..

Now that I am doing something else that I realised that scrubbing in cardiac theatre was not just my job it was my passion. I don't want to continue like this and start hating nursing or even decide to quit my profession. I should give it one last try. I think its time to move on and go after my passion.. I don't want to learn something new I want my old life back.

Time for job hunt. But this time it will definitely be in cardiac theatre or an end to my nursing life. Wish me luck ....

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bindu nair

About bindu nair

I'm a scrub nurse from SA.

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Best of luck to you! :) IMO, cardiac theatre sounds like the better option of the two. Happy hunting!

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