Here is the story in a nutshell. I graduated and took my 1st RN job in a Tele floor in Dec. I've worked there previously as a tech. I drive an hour and 20 mins. to work one way, I work nights and it's been really rough on me for multiple reasons. I'm scared to death to drive home most days because of how exhausted I am. I'm scared to death I'm going to hurt a patient because I'm tired, I can't think straight and I don't have the utmost concern from my coworkers at times (most of the time they are too busy talking trash about various other people, they don't have time to help). My orientation was cut short because of my previous experience on the floor, my manager continues to lie to me on a regular basis about everything, my co-workers are toxic and I really despise this floor the longer I work there. The only thing I like is my patients and I can't even give them decent care because I'm insanly busy. This is not at all what I thought it would be.
So last week, out of the clear blue, my previous job calls me back and offers me a full time position, I have worked there for 2 years now, which was basically all during NS. Orientation is awesome, clear cut and in writing and they are OK with my VERY limited experience as an RN. I can start whenever I'm ready. This job is 20 mins. from my house and the hours are perfect. I may have to work nights but that's OK, I'm 20 mins. from my front door to theirs. Worse case, if I'm too tired to drive home my husband can pick me up. My family is thrilled, I'm thrilled. All is good, until today.
So I tried to turn in my notice today. I am very recently off orientation (like 1 day recent), still on probation. I am the "extra" on all the shifts for the next 7 weeks. My manager tells me she requires 3 weeks. I try to explain that I don't feel comfortable to work effectively the next 3 weeks because of the drive, my toxic co-workers on nights, etc, I would rather just leave peacefully and without hurting anyone or loosing my license. She tells me no. So then I resort to begging her to let me go back to days to work (at least I feel safer in my driving during the day and they aren't toxic to me) and she tells me that isn't an option or at least one she is willing to consider at this moment in time. She then goes into the "lecture" about rehire, etc....
Basically I'm to the point where I don't think I can take it anymore. Because of our repeated conversations today, I got no sleep (she knew I had to work tonight and waited all day to return my call) so I had to call in tonight because I refuse to provide patient care with no sleep. Because I did that - I'm sure I'm on the "do not hire again list" already.
I guess I'm asking - what would you do? I've tried to explain to her my need to work closer to home, I'm still on probation, I've offered to work days for my notice. I feel I've done everything I can to make her understand and she doesn't and won't listen to me.
I'm not sure I care much about burning this bridge. My new facility, I'm already an employee so my manager can't hurt me there, I've worked there for 2 years, so I have a good history. I have no intention of ever driving 1 hour and 20 mins. to work again in my life, it's just to hard in nursing to do something crazy like that. If I ever decide to leave there are multiple facilities close to my house that are not affiliated with the place I'm trying to leave. HR tells me that they aren't allowed to release anything anymore except my dates of employement.
I'm scheduled again tomorrow night and I'm going to get some sleep and go in as planned but I would really like some advice as to what to do or say to my manager when I see her again.
