How to get BF to realize he has problem?

  1. I hope you all can help me b/c I can't even begin to describe how completely frustrated I am tonight! I had myself a good cry, called my sis and now am looking to you all for advice on this , so here goes.... I will apologize in advance for such a long post.

    I truly believe my BF has a medical problem and I don't know how to make him understand how important it is to visit his MD. Please don't misunderstnad the reason for my post...I DON'T want medical advice....I want help or pointers in how I get him to understand he needs to be seen.

    For about the last year or so he has been exhausted. No matter how much sleep he gets, he is constantly beyond exhaustion. There is not a single day that goes by that he doesn't have to drink numerous cups of coffee throughout the day to just stay awake and function. He yawns 24/7. When he isn't at work he can be found sleeping on the couch...For HOURS at a time. When he finally wakes it's time for him to go to bed for the night!! We never are able to enjoy a Tv show or movie 2gether b/c he falls asleep no matter what hour of the day it is. Today we decided to go out and spend the day 2gether and twice he had to stop and get coffee b/c he couldn't quit yawning. Then, after we ate out, he asked the waitress for coffee so he wouldn't fall asleep on the drive home and this was at 5:30 in the evening!! Once we arrived home he watched maybe about 1/2 of Tv, then played on the computer for about 20 min. and then went up to bed at 8:30 pm. Now mind u, we both are off this w/e and my daughter is out with friends and here I sit since then ..just me and the cat!:angryfire

    When I try to talk with him and explain to him that this is not normal for a guy who's only 31, he becomes extremely irate and defensive. I urged him more times than I can count to go to the doctor, but he is so stubborn. And the ironic part about this is that he will graduate in May with a PA he should realize something isn't right about this.

    I'm just such at a loss how to get him help. I've thought about talking with his Dad and seeing if he can talk with him. What do u all think?? Or can I not help him if he doesn't want to help himself? Thanks to anyone who is kind enough to read this.

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    About hhrhrn41

    Joined: Nov '04; Posts: 32; Likes: 2


  3. by   GeminiTwinRN
    you said he's about to graduate? so does that mean he's studying all the time? could that be part of the problem? does he snore (meaning, does he have sleep apnea or some other disturbance keeping him from getting quality sleep at night)?

    i understand your frustration! i am a new grad on noc shift, and i have been experiencing some of the same symptoms as your bf. i saw my md and he put me on provigil, which is a med for narcolepsy, sleep apneic-type disorders, and shift worker/sleep disorder.

    i would definitely recommend him seeing a doctor to have a workup done if you can't identify any of the above factors that might be causing his excessive sleepiness. has he been like this for the entire time you've known him or is this something new?
  4. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Remind him that you're not encouraging him to get help to get on his nerves, you're encouraging him to get help because you worry and care about him. Remind him that he HAS to take care of himself before he can even begin to take care of others. Handwrite him a letter expressing these things.

    I don't know about talking to his dad, it depend on how well you know his dad. As in, have you met him before, have you talked to him at length before, etc.
  5. by   hhrhrn41
    leslasic....thanx for taking the time to read my post and being kind enough to reply.

    To answer your questions...

    He is in the last year of PA school and doing his clinical rotations. So basically he goes to "work" every day and when he gets home (depending on how exhausted he is) he has to log all the patients he assisted in surgery with onto his laptop...usually he cuts that short to lay on the couch and sleep..and sometimes he can't even manage to do that due to crashing on the couch the minute he walks in the door!! Other than that, that's about all that is required of him at this point, now that he is soon to graduate.

    N0, this is not a new thing. Been going on since he moved in with me last May. I'm beginning to get a complex, lol... Actually, this really started in his didactic year but he had no time for sleep or else he would have flunked out. so, he drank pot after pot of coffee just so he would be able to participate in study groups with the other students.

    At one point...about 1 1/2 year ago, he visited his MD(but not until I had to act like a crazy person and beg him to go) and he was sent for a sleep study..sleep apnea was R/O...doc told him all due to lack of quality sleep. Didn't do any bloodwork or prescribe any meds!! so now 2years later with still same thing but worse he's refusing to go back.:angryfire:angryfire

  6. by   hhrhrn41
    Marie.lpn... Never even gave it a thought to write him a letter expressing how I feel... will def. give that a shot...BF and I have been 2gether for 8 years and yes, I do know his dad fairly well...but don't particularly care for him...but was willing to talk with him out of desperation.

  7. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    And it's also possible that he feels like he doesn't have the time to get help for the problem right now with everything else going on.

    Surely he knows by now with his clinical rotations that there are some docs out there that aren't up to par, and a second opinion is needed.
  8. by   GeminiTwinRN
    I totally agree with Marie. A second opinion is a great idea, and being that the sleep apnea has been ruled out already, he is ahead of the game in that dept. I am surprised the md didn't even do some routine bloodwork, but you just never know.

    Is your BF taking any medications that you know of that could be contributing to his problem? He obviously doesn't have trouble falling asleep, but does he have trouble staying asleep?

    I sure hope you can convince him that seeing another doctor is called for. Surely he realizes that your relationship is suffering..

  9. by   hhrhrn41
    leslasic.... BF takes no prescribed meds, that I'm aware of anyway. He does take vitamins, glucosamine and drinks a daily protein shake...none of these would cause sleepiness. And as far as I know (since we sleep in the same bed) his sleep is not interupted. However, he snores so loudly that I sometimes have no choice but to sleep in the spare room. But OSA has already been r/o.
  10. by   Gromit
    my pulserate was jacked up into the 130s, but otherwise you have described the very symptoms I exhibited when my cardiomyopathy was found.
    I agree with you, this guy NEEDS a full workup -a real physical with bloodwork if nothing else.
  11. by   saudi-nurse
    if he will keep that way longer than this he should see a dr