First patient death...

[scizzerin]

Hello all. This seems like the best place to do a wee bit of venting.

I had a patient (I'm a tech in an ICU) for 3 12's in a row. She was a crack up and her family was awesome, and I really enjoyed taking care of her. She had been getting better (pneumonia) and suddenly coded after they moved her to Med Surg. I am not saying anything bad about med surg, it was the lack of caring or shock.Like, oh yeah, she died. I cried over this funny lady, hugged her family and what not.

I think maybe I'm too emotional for this job. The lady's niece said, "I hope you stick with your school because I think you'll make a great nurse one day." What's proper? Or normal, for that matter? I can see it in a LTC setting; you really get to know these people.

The way some of the other techs talk about patients ticks me off. They'll describe someone as a PITA, and from my viewpoint they aren't that at all. I did hair for 10 years before this, and still a relatively new cna. Just call me miss customer service.

Eh.... just bummed, I guess.

[scizzerin]

Thank you, everyone who replied to my post. If anything, it has solidified my intention to be a nurse.

[emmycRN]

I don't know if this will help the OP, but I was at the receiving end of nursing care that was the last push I needed to pursue my new career choice.

My dad passed away in April 2005; the nurse caring for him that day had cared for him before (he was in ICU for 12 days and intubated for 7). She had struck me as very competent, but not huggy-feely. I trusted her, but she made me nervous.

Now I will never forget her.

When the monitors overhead began to beep constantly as Daddy started slipping away, she cut the noises off - and it was then that I realized she had been in the room with us for over an hour. When the lines went flat, and she pulled the ECG strip off the monitor and turned it off for the last time, I noticed that she was crying. Not sobbing, but tears were running down her face. She hugged my mom and then she hugged me - a real, warm hug. (That's when I lost it.)

I wish I could remember her name. I know I'll never forget her face. I would love to invite her to my pinning next December if she could come. As silly as it may sound, what I saw that day just convinced me that this is where I needed to be, and I'll always remember her for that.

People do remember. The families care. I wouldn't worry about what everyone else thinks. Your actions don't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Thank you for this wonderful post. I am a new RN in ICU and have been struggling somewhat with my role when someone is passing. I have made it my habit to try to stay out of the way and give the family privacy- and I definately have not allowed family to see me cry. Now I will approach things a little differently because of you. I now see that my being there will add value for the families, not take away from them. Thanks again for sharing.