Cold Hearted Nurse's

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Please excuse the tone of this post but I need to vent before I deck a nurse!!!! In the last five days, I have lost three very dear patients. Oh course, at the end of each shift we give a status report. Resident No.1-Pain very severe, called Hospice and was authorized to increase Roxanol to 1ml. q 15 minutes until comfort was visible to me, then q hr, thereafter. When I told the oncoming nurse this in report, she blew up saying, "Well he's gonna die on my shift!". Very nasty, self centered B*****!!!! While I was finishing up my paperwork, she does rounds, comes stomping down the hall and pratically yells, "Well, he's dead!" I wanted to deck her but instead I kept my mouth closed, finished my nightly documentation and left. Anyone else, I would have gladly stayed and assisted with the final duties for this kind gentleman, but I knew if I stayed, we'd get into it, so I left. Two days later and resident number 2- Resident passed away at 9:45, which I am scheduled to leave at 10:00pm. Another LN was on duty, so my spouse and I stayed till 11:30, and took care of everything, and were there until the funeral home arrived. Most other nurses where we work would have said at 10:00pm, your shift, you take over but I am not like that, so I did what I could. Now for resident number three- night before last, he is screaming in pain, metastatic CA, 1ml. q. 15 minutes of Roxanol not even touching his pain. Again, I called and got permission to start a SQ Morphine pump at 30 mg. per hour, with a 10 mg bolus q. 15 minutes as needed. Nurse no. 1 comes on duty, takes reoprt and gain starts ranting and raving about how he'll die on her shift. I waited till the heffer left the hall, then I called my supervisor and told her unless she wanted to see me fired that night, she'd best get to the hall ASAP!!!!!! Which she did! I told my supervisor I had listened to enough of her self centered crap and if she came back to the unit before I left and started any more of her lipping off, I was gonna back her butt against the wall and blast her inconsiderate self. I was gonna tell her that I had seen road kill with more compassion and that if she has more concern for her level of workload than the level of pain in a dying man then she needed to get the heck outta dodge because if I heard her spouting off her big mouth like that again I was gonna take her into the dirty utility room, which has no windows, and kick her a$$, I have had it with her. My supervisor stayed on the hall till I completed my work and then I left. Yesterday, this dear man was still alive and "you know who" was scheduled to follow me. So, I asked the other nurse on the hall with me if we could say a simple prayer together that he would pass before our shift ended and she was more than in agreement because she had witnessed the IDIOTs behavior before. So we said a prayer. I imediately went down to cheeck on him and his precious DIL was reading him the Bible. The family was ready for him to be released and I did something I don't usually do in front of a family member, but I requested a few minutes alone with him because I have this song I sing to each of my residents when I feel their time is close. I guess I do it mostly for me. She asked if it would be okay if she stayed and it was not my decision to ask her to leave so I said yes. I bent down very close to his ear and I spoke to him about Jesus and the home he was about to go to. He and I had spoken of the Lord many times, then I sang the song for him. While I was singing, the DIL placed her hand into mine and when I was done, she cried and hugged me very tightly. I told her I'd be back soon but had to pass medications to other residents but to call me if she needed anything. Less than one hour later, she approached me with tears in her eyes and said, "He just left for Heaven". I went to the room and he was gone. We hugged each other so tight and she thanked me for all I had done and I walked away feeling that not only had his pain ended but our prayer had been answered and he did passs on my shift.

Duckie, this was a fantastic post, and I'm really proud to be in the profession with you. I feel very sorry for the nurse you have to work with (and even sorrier for your colleagues and residents, of course!). Clearly she is not in the line of work best suited to her. She may have issues about death and personal suffering that we know nothing of, but a professional tries to leave these things at home. Thank you so much for the work you do! Jeannie

duckie,

you said it very well and very eloquently.....

I will add but a few thoughts....as I did a very late nighter....12+ hours....and cannot seem to drop off to sleep..........

micro's poor and not eloquently expressed thoughts about coldhearted nurses.......

1) they must be very unhappy people, underneath it all

-----either for one of two reason....

a) maybe they only went into nursing for the glamour and the paycheck$$$

b) or they are so bitter and so tired and..................................

that they do not care by their actions...........

and it doesn't matter if it is the other staff or residents or patients....or anybody else......

selfcentered-centerness to the core........

c) or maybe not......

who knows anymore..........

But micro better end, because up too late, and want to make some kind of sense to my friends here on the threads..........

what I find the saddest is the nurse that is a new, brand new nurse...........

and treats others so callously.....staff and especially the patients and their families........

for these people, I have lil' respect.....because they should be the one bringing the fire to the old one's yet trying to be a nurse out there......

and as micro is if but only in the middle ground of nursing.......

micro has seen both sides...........

and, yes, has more respect for the older nurse in years.........that occasionally sounds callous and cold, because if you look under their shield..........

there is usually a reason why................

but a brand new grad.......or new nurse within the first year.....maybe stress, "Lawd's yes", but meanness to others....no.................'

and please no one young or old, take any of micro's post to offend as micro is far from the perfect nurse and human being, but just in a very thoughtful and almost too thinking mode of late........so this is all the words that micro can relate..............

but then there again there is no reason for

if you call yourself a nurse.....that you should be evil to men(i.e. mankind).........

it is part of what being a nurse is...........

or maybe it is the rose color glasses I find myself looking through..........

:stone :stone :stone

I realize stress affects people in different ways. But one has to stand back and look at how burned out they are and think before they speak in such a manner. There are some things in our job which we must joke about or we will go crazy. Death is not necessarily one of those things!

Originally posted by Katch22

I realize stress affects people in different ways. But one has to stand back and look at how burned out they are and think before they speak in such a manner. There are some things in our job which we must joke about or we will go crazy. Death is not necessarily one of those things!

katch22

well said, and I agree.....

actually last noc(at this point), I think i heard just one too many comments about death and passing without any respect for the human being behind it, let alone their family.....

maybe this "wonderful nurse" has never had to come to terms with their own mortality.........?????

katch22, haven't seen much of your posts,,,,,

keep posting.......

micro is an oldtimer and needs new breath.................

thx for your posting and your thoughts...........

luv,

micor:zzzzz

Duckie, that was a hardcore story for me. I don't know how I would have played those events. I run accross this behavior from certain nurses all the time.

Most people are gonna chime about heaven and other beyond places of arrival. It's okay, but there is no happy face when death comes.

The nurse in question was in a near fatal accident about two months ago with her ten year old grand-daughter. We all had hoped that since God spared both of their lives with out much more than scratches after their truck flipped and rolled down a hill, that just maybe she would change just a little for the good. We were all wrong. Yes, I think she is burned out but even a burned out nurse can have compassion for a dying man that is screaming in pain. Come on, there is no excuse here. Her only concern is what will be added to her work load and will she have to stay a minute past her clock out time. If I can stay 1-1 1/2 hours OT to help, what's her problem. Usually my husband sits in the truck and waits for me, the most patient man in the world. Maybe that's why I have a husband and she doesn't, I care about others, she cares only for herself. But I am adding her to my prayer list. I will pray that if God cannot change her, that he will change my feeling about how to deal with her and let my love for him shine through no matter how upset she makes me. I will try to keep on my bestest smile and pray for my tongue to be sanctified!!! One very good thing is that once the Skilled Unit is finished, I will no longer have to deal with her, as she refuses to work it.

Hi Duckie....you are a great person and I am proud to be in the same state as you (Indiana). Someday this nurse who hopes nobody dies on her shift will get sick herself, maybe sooner, maybe later. When she does hopefully she will get someone just like her for her own nurse, then the redemption can begin. I have been as burned out as anyone can be during my career, but I can't ever remember taking it out on the patients. The docs? Hell yes!!! Other nurses? Also a yes but not as bad as the docs. This is just sick behavior bordering on the psychotic. She shouldn't be allowed in the same facility as any patient, let alone be assigned to care for them.

Originally posted by JonRN

Hi Duckie....you are a great person and I am proud to be in the same state as you (Indiana). Someday this nurse who hopes nobody dies on her shift will get sick herself, maybe sooner, maybe later. When she does hopefully she will get someone just like her for her own nurse, then the redemption can begin. I have been as burned out as anyone can be during my career, but I can't ever remember taking it out on the patients. The docs? Hell yes!!! Other nurses? Also a yes but not as bad as the docs. This is just sick behavior bordering on the psychotic. She shouldn't be allowed in the same facility as any patient, let alone be assigned to care for them.

I couldn't agree with you more but since I am not the one that makes these decisions, I'm certain her behavior will continue. At lease until she offends a family member of someone in administration, which is not likely as she works 3rds. Oh well, it's up to God. I'll just keep doing the very best I can. The support from all of you really means a lot when I'm down or my Indian/Irish/Dutch mouth is about to get me into trouble. :chuckle

Duckie, I'm sooo sorry that nurse treated you the way they did! You are a kind and compassionate nurse. Don't let people like that effect the way you are!! Please do not hit them! If you do, you will be the one in trouble. Call your supervisor whenever it's necessary. Also, if they're not available, call another colleague that's in a station near you to come over and help somehow so that you two don't get into it. I hope I have someone like you at my bedside when I'm about to leave here. I know it's so hard to loose a patient! I've worked in geriatrics for years. Love in Jesus, God bless you. :)

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