friend about ready to be admitted to my floor

[pinkiepie_RN]

I work inpatient psychiatry. My close friend just recently had a nervous breakdown and wound up EP'ed to the ED at my hospital. We have open beds and I'm sure once she's evaluated, she'll be sent up as an admission, supposing she meets the admitting criteria. I'm off of work for the next 3 days but I'm worried about visiting and it being a me against her thing, with me being one of the staff even if not working directly with her. I understand if she's still here when I come back on Thursday, I obviously can't work with her but has anyone been in a similar situation before? How did it turn out? Sometimes I really scare myself with how close to my specialty I find myself.

[7student7]

I have a kind of similar story. You can decide if it applies to you or not.

I'm a psych CNA and I have a very close friend with a mental illness. This person quit his meds, so his treatment center dumped him, and it was ruining his life (no job, abusive relationships, almost homeless, etc.).

Trying to help, I gave him some information from work about different psychiatrists, told him about similar people improving dramatically with medication, and reminded him how well he was before when he took his meds. (Why did he quit? So frustrating!)

This did not turn out well. He accused me of being a know it all, said he was nothing like "those people" in the hospital that I work with, and just plain got offended and defensive. Me getting involved accomplished nothing because he was so skeptical of everything and he just lumped me in with the "arrogant doctors" he didn't like. He didn't see me helping him, he just saw himself losing a friend, like I turned against him. It took months for him to talk to me again after our talk about meds.

Now I make it a point to not talk about my job or his illness around him. I found out that I can be his friend OR I can be a nurse aide. I can NOT do both, not even a little bit.

I would try to make her know that you think she already has enough nurses and you're just her friend, not another nurse. You can go beyond just not working with her (sorry if I'm not explaining this very well), try not to pry or even know too much about her illness. Pick one role and stick to it. If you aren't pushy like I was, things will probably work out. I made mistakes with my friend and it still turned out decent for our friendship after I learned to mind my own business.

One bad thing: this friend of mine is still unmedicated and not doing so well. Your friend is getting help, mine isn't. So I don't know...Sometimes I wonder if I have my priorities straight. But, I'm afraid if I push him he'll still refuse meds AND be one friend short.

Good luck. I know it's a sad situation.

[pinkiepie_RN]

I have a kind of similar story. You can decide if it applies to you or not.

I'm a psych CNA and I have a very close friend with a mental illness. This person quit his meds, so his treatment center dumped him, and it was ruining his life (no job, abusive relationships, almost homeless, etc.).

Trying to help, I gave him some information from work about different psychiatrists, told him about similar people improving dramatically with medication, and reminded him how well he was before when he took his meds. (Why did he quit? So frustrating!)

This did not turn out well. He accused me of being a know it all, said he was nothing like "those people" in the hospital that I work with, and just plain got offended and defensive. Me getting involved accomplished nothing because he was so skeptical of everything and he just lumped me in with the "arrogant doctors" he didn't like. He didn't see me helping him, he just saw himself losing a friend, like I turned against him. It took months for him to talk to me again after our talk about meds.

Now I make it a point to not talk about my job or his illness around him. I found out that I can be his friend OR I can be a nurse aide. I can NOT do both, not even a little bit.

I would try to make her know that you think she already has enough nurses and you're just her friend, not another nurse. You can go beyond just not working with her (sorry if I'm not explaining this very well), try not to pry or even know too much about her illness. Pick one role and stick to it. If you aren't pushy like I was, things will probably work out. I made mistakes with my friend and it still turned out decent for our friendship after I learned to mind my own business.

One bad thing: this friend of mine is still unmedicated and not doing so well. Your friend is getting help, mine isn't. So I don't know...Sometimes I wonder if I have my priorities straight. But, I'm afraid if I push him he'll still refuse meds AND be one friend short.

Good luck. I know it's a sad situation.

Thanks for sharing your story. I knew of her psych history and while she was medication compliant, I think she was due for a med change and there have been stressors in her life recently. I've been currently supportive and an advocate with a nurse's education for her, which she seems to have taken well.

I will make it a point to be professional when I encounter her in the milieu and be friendly and non-partial during visiting hours. This situation causes me to draw some appropriate professional boundaries and hopefully it will prove to be a good experience for all involved.