Perfect time to have a baby

Nurses New Nurse

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Problem is, I know that time will never come. I am currently a pre-nursing student, and will hopefully start an acclerated BSN program in June. I would graduate the next August, after 4 intense semesters. I have been married for 15 months. I am 27 right now, will be 29 when I graduate. My husband is 10 years older than I am. We're both getting a little nervous that we should go ahead and do this sooner rather than later. The current plan is to quit using BC in my last (summer) semester and let nature take it's course, knowing I might not even get pregnant until after graduation, or it could happen the first time. That would entail sitting for NCLEX pregnant, going to interviews that way, and starting my first job a few or several months along. Everyone on the pre-nursing forum says not to do it while in school, since you never know how difficult the pregnancy will be. I just read previous discussions on this board, and everyone says not to do it in your first year of nursing. If I wait any longer though, I'll be in my 30s and DH in his 40s with our first child. What if we want more than one? He'd like to be able to play catch, etc., and to be alive long enough to meet his grandkids. Should we try while I'm in school? My program is very intense, but I saw two pregnant girls at the NS the other day when I had to go to a meeting. They might not be doing accelerated though, or could be graduating in Dec. DH has a hard time understanding why we can't just start trying now. We could, and I could apply to start in Jan 08 instead, but then I'd be doing NS with a newborn...please help!

Thanks so much, everyone who replied. It's not that I feel like I have to do it now, it's that I don't want to keep waiting until the time is "right." I need to have my annual exam in November anyways, so I am also going to talk to my NP about options - right now I'm on depo, so I want to maybe at least switch BCs and get on something I can go off of easier in a year or two. I think after asking a lot of advice here and of friends and relatives, we might consider just stopping BC with maybe 5-6 months before graduation. Obviously, we don't even know if we're able to conceive, or how long it'll take. Then even if it happens the first time, I think the timing might be OK. Then just go about our business, if we don't get pregnant until after I graduate, that's fine too. Also, my husband is able to work from home almost any day he wants to, and his hours just have to equal at least 36/week. He can do 3 12's too if he so desires. That makes a lot of eventual child care decision easier. Anyways, thanks guys, and I guess we probably just have to figure this out for ourselves.

I am currently almost done with an Accelerated BSN nursing program, and can tell you that although there are students who have kids, some have been able to make it and a few others dropped out. They all have childcare taken care of, and their husbands do help around the house, but you have to keep in mind that a young infant or toddler does need to bond with the mother.

A couple students also told me about the 'guilt' factor, and even if their husbands actually understood that they had to stay in the library hours after class to study ( since studying at home with a young child is not the easiest (they always want mommy's attention, etc) the women still felt that they were neglecting the child during the most important time in their life, their first yrs.

The Accelerated programs are very intense and fast paced, and though it is worth the sacrifice in my opinion, to work hard for a year or so..But if you have a child under 5 especially, even 1 year that you miss important moments or time with him/her are very important for that age group.

I'm not saying that people can't go to school with babies or toddlers and make it fine, but I'm just saying it's VERY difficult to juggle homework, papers, studying, clinicals, while trying to give your child Qualilty time...during a fast paced intense program like Accelerated BSN. Of course, women do manage some quality time, but it doesn't mean they aren't exhausted, tired, and wish they had more time to give their child.

At least this is what a few female students told me, about the reason they decided to drop out, since they had a baby or toddler at home.

They will return to school later, or maybe decide to do the traditional nursing program which is not so intense or fast paced.

Women juggle work and babies/toddlers all the time, but actual work is not so intense as an Accelerated Nursing program, since you have to do so much studying, work in so little time and most schools don't allow Cs, you have to do better or fail.

I personally would rather finish school first, and I'm already early 30s, but I don't think I would've been able to finish this program if i had been pregnant or a baby at home. I do plan to try conceiving as soon as I graduate, and I think it's still a good time.

Specializes in School LVN, Peds HH.

I'm only 23, not married, not pregnant or even looking to get pregnant. But, I know that if something were to happen right now, making it throuh school would be tough, but doable for me. Its all about how you handle tough life situations. Pregnancy in itself is a wonderful, life changing thing. But throw on a BSN program on top of that and its going to get stressful. Honestly, everyone else is right. There is no perfect time. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Just make sure you think everything through... schedule conflicts, morning sickness ect., and talk to your instructors if you do get pregnant. Good luck with the program reguardless of what happens!

Specializes in Clinical exp in OB, psy, med-surg, peds.

Wow, there is no perfect time, you are ready when the sperm and egg are ready to unite, LOL, I too feel like I want to have 2 more addition to my family, wish me the best as I do the same for you too.

LOL.... wow so much to think about. I think my brain is spinning.:idea: My DH and I would like to start trying my last month or so of nursing school and I would just stay at home until after the baby is born and I am ready to start my career. I would go ahead and take the NCLEX so that everything would be ready for when I decide to go back to work.:nurse: Ideally I would like to stay home with the baby 12-16 weeks before starting my career so that I have that bonding time. What do all of you ladies think about this plan?? Fortunately DH and I do have anough money saved and DH makes enough money that I will be able to stay at home or work a little while pregnant if I choose to do so. Input??? I worry about starting a career and being limited to my time at home with my baby. I am really tossed on this decision and any thoughts would be helpful. I am afraid I am going to be pretty sick my pregnancy with all th stomach issues I already have as well as dysautonomia, MVP, and idiopathic hypersomnia/narcolepsy...:confused: doesnt sound like a good combo right? that is why I have thought about just finishing school, getting pregnant and delaying starting my career and just staying home while I am pregnant. Enjoy life a little maybe :lol2: .... thanks for reading this!!

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